argh. work issues causing stress, people not cooperating with me or my schedule! add in the fact that i was planning on making this awesomely gruesome halloween costume for a contest at work but had to cancel those plans due to concerns about the longevity of the fake blood slash liquid latex, and i'm not having a great day.
oh well.
10.26.2011
10.20.2011
raw food
i was totally unaware that public nudity is legal in san francisco, although it makes perfect sense and didn't come as much of a surprise. i don't think it would bother me much, although i would prefer if the city followed through on plans to codify nudist etiquette, for example, as mentioned in the article, placing something between their nether regions and any public surface upon which said nether regions might rest.
10.19.2011
apologies
excuse this boring apa style rant, but i just have to do this.
a recent post on the apa style blog noted that references should include both the volume and issue number of a journal only if the journal is paginated by issue (that is, it starts each issue with page 1). it suggests various tips for finding out whether a particular journal paginates by issue or by volume. what a crock. why should i waste my time even thinking about this? why not just include both volume and issue numbers? if the true goal is making it easier for a reader to find a particular reference, how is leaving out the issue number helpful? so you can save three characters' worth of space? who is coming up with this crap?
that is all.
a recent post on the apa style blog noted that references should include both the volume and issue number of a journal only if the journal is paginated by issue (that is, it starts each issue with page 1). it suggests various tips for finding out whether a particular journal paginates by issue or by volume. what a crock. why should i waste my time even thinking about this? why not just include both volume and issue numbers? if the true goal is making it easier for a reader to find a particular reference, how is leaving out the issue number helpful? so you can save three characters' worth of space? who is coming up with this crap?
that is all.
10.18.2011
weekend update
had a great weekend up in sb with the mom, bro, sis-in-law, and the girl. mostly just hanging out, although we did head to the ellwood butterfly preserve (only a few monarchs, not quite the season yet). gearing up for the wedding this coming weekend. looks like the weather should be decent for an outdoor wedding in northern california in october.
10.14.2011
shill, baby, shill
the perry plan:
Perry pledged to chase oil reserves wherever he can find them: both off the coast of the Alaska and within the Arctic National Wildlife Reserve, in the Gulf of Mexico and off the coast of Virginia, and in the American West.
Reading from a teleprompter, Perry also said he would push to exploit the country’s coal and natural gas resources.
The key, Perry said, is rolling back the federal regulatory net.
...
“When you consider that any carbon reduction will be offset by the increase of carbon emissions by developing nations like China and India, the EPA would tie our economy in knots and advantage our global competitors while realizing no global environmental benefits in the process,” Perry said.
i'll add my own comments here on how doltish this approach is, but i think the obama campaign did a pretty good job:
“Gov. Perry’s energy policy isn’t the way to win the future, it’s straight out of the past – doubling down on finite resources with no plan to promote innovation or to transition the nation to a clean energy economy," said campaign spokesman Ben LaBolt.
that said, what kind of crap argument is that last quote by perry? so because china and india are going to wind up dumping tons of pollution and trash into the environment, that's all the more reason for us to stay at the party and completely destroy the planet? brilliant. could his nose be any deeper in the oil industry's filthy crack?
i'd say go for it, republicans, give this guy your nomination, but i'm afraid people might be dumb enough to vote him into office and i can't handle bush 3.0.
Perry pledged to chase oil reserves wherever he can find them: both off the coast of the Alaska and within the Arctic National Wildlife Reserve, in the Gulf of Mexico and off the coast of Virginia, and in the American West.
Reading from a teleprompter, Perry also said he would push to exploit the country’s coal and natural gas resources.
The key, Perry said, is rolling back the federal regulatory net.
...
“When you consider that any carbon reduction will be offset by the increase of carbon emissions by developing nations like China and India, the EPA would tie our economy in knots and advantage our global competitors while realizing no global environmental benefits in the process,” Perry said.
i'll add my own comments here on how doltish this approach is, but i think the obama campaign did a pretty good job:
“Gov. Perry’s energy policy isn’t the way to win the future, it’s straight out of the past – doubling down on finite resources with no plan to promote innovation or to transition the nation to a clean energy economy," said campaign spokesman Ben LaBolt.
that said, what kind of crap argument is that last quote by perry? so because china and india are going to wind up dumping tons of pollution and trash into the environment, that's all the more reason for us to stay at the party and completely destroy the planet? brilliant. could his nose be any deeper in the oil industry's filthy crack?
i'd say go for it, republicans, give this guy your nomination, but i'm afraid people might be dumb enough to vote him into office and i can't handle bush 3.0.
bear hunt
well, it definitely was a win, but i'd venture to say it wasn't exactly pretty. five turnovers by the bears certainly helped out the defense, which still struggled to stop the passing game. the offense had an off night, which i guess happens. but i don't have a whole lot of confidence going in to the next two weeks, with notre dame and stanford looming on the schedule. one more thing: can everyone stop getting hurt? it felt like every play someone was coming up holding their shoulder or limping off the field on a twisted ankle. with 10 fewer scholarships for the next three years, players can't afford to be damaging body parts.
10.13.2011
office space available
read one of the most disturbing political pieces i've seen in a long time in the new yorker. should be available to nonsubscribers here for a while. millionaire art pope, head of a chain of five-and-dime stores, has been funneling cash into local and state elections in an attempt to swing the state of north carolina into red territory. the level of machiavellian manipulation and arrogance is staggering.
fortunately, it seems the article is already leading to a backlash against this power-hungry sociopath.
reminds me a bit of the whole van wolfswinkel episode in santa barbara, when a texas developer poured hundreds of thousands of dollars into the city council race, an unprecedented amount of money for small-town politics, and somewhat succeeded in shifting the makeup of the council in a decidedly conservative direction (some would argue, probably rightfully so, that the economy also had a big part in the swing, as well as a string of well-intentioned but misguided projects by the liberal council in the years leading up to the election in 2009).
we can thank the supreme court and its citizens united ruling for the grossly inappropriate amount of corporate money that is now swamping elections across the nation. supposedly seeking to protect the first amendment rights of corporations (because they are people, too), the divided court decided that the government can't ban political spending by corporations in candidate elections, opening the floodgates for all types of shenanigans and misdeeds by the wealthiest among us and inspiring new faith among conservatives that they will be able to buy their way into any political office possible.
fortunately, it seems the article is already leading to a backlash against this power-hungry sociopath.
reminds me a bit of the whole van wolfswinkel episode in santa barbara, when a texas developer poured hundreds of thousands of dollars into the city council race, an unprecedented amount of money for small-town politics, and somewhat succeeded in shifting the makeup of the council in a decidedly conservative direction (some would argue, probably rightfully so, that the economy also had a big part in the swing, as well as a string of well-intentioned but misguided projects by the liberal council in the years leading up to the election in 2009).
we can thank the supreme court and its citizens united ruling for the grossly inappropriate amount of corporate money that is now swamping elections across the nation. supposedly seeking to protect the first amendment rights of corporations (because they are people, too), the divided court decided that the government can't ban political spending by corporations in candidate elections, opening the floodgates for all types of shenanigans and misdeeds by the wealthiest among us and inspiring new faith among conservatives that they will be able to buy their way into any political office possible.
10.12.2011
flat line
had a great weekend trip up to el cap with the girl and her kin. a much-needed escape from the concrete, metal, exhaust, and noise of this sprawling metropolis. just the first in a month of escapes really, as i'll be heading back north in a few days and again in a few days and a week.
snapped a few photos on our camping trip and really like a few of them. still dreaming of buying a nikon d7000 of my very own, but we'll see how the budget goes. had to buy four new tires for the car after wearing the old set down to the wire and getting a flat en route to el cap. that was fun, especially changing a driver's side tire on the shoulder of the 101. luckily, traffic had slowed to a crawl and i had plenty of space to operate. only took about 15 minutes to swap out the spare, and the chp officer who happened along toward the end of the process seemed fairly impressed. the hardest part was getting the damn jack out of its berth in the trunk. and getting to the sears auto center before the spare started sagging as well. maybe the weight of all the crap we lugged up with us. so much for roughing it, i guess. anyway, that set my savings account back quite a bit. about six months worth of the cash i've been slowly setting aside for emergencies/vacations. sigh.
speaking of vacations, i'm just about up to two weeks of time off and haven't any ideas of how to use it. maybe a trip outside of the state, see a bit of the country. we'll see. it's the money side of things that's making me hesitant. and constantly scanning groupon and travelzoo and other deal brokers.
snapped a few photos on our camping trip and really like a few of them. still dreaming of buying a nikon d7000 of my very own, but we'll see how the budget goes. had to buy four new tires for the car after wearing the old set down to the wire and getting a flat en route to el cap. that was fun, especially changing a driver's side tire on the shoulder of the 101. luckily, traffic had slowed to a crawl and i had plenty of space to operate. only took about 15 minutes to swap out the spare, and the chp officer who happened along toward the end of the process seemed fairly impressed. the hardest part was getting the damn jack out of its berth in the trunk. and getting to the sears auto center before the spare started sagging as well. maybe the weight of all the crap we lugged up with us. so much for roughing it, i guess. anyway, that set my savings account back quite a bit. about six months worth of the cash i've been slowly setting aside for emergencies/vacations. sigh.
speaking of vacations, i'm just about up to two weeks of time off and haven't any ideas of how to use it. maybe a trip outside of the state, see a bit of the country. we'll see. it's the money side of things that's making me hesitant. and constantly scanning groupon and travelzoo and other deal brokers.
10.05.2011
lemons
despite the best efforts of our defense and monte's now-infamous cover 2 (aka, cover who?) defense, we pulled another one out of the bag against zona a few days ago. we've got a bye week coming up, so it'll be nice not to have to sweat it out once again on saturday. i'm a bit bored, so i'm thinking i'll come up with a few witticisms to lob at the ncaa to go along with the few i've seen around (e.g., t-shirts emblazoned with "you can't sanction the endzone").
the ncaa tried to crap on our dreams, but we made that crap into compost, grew some barley, and turned it into scotch.
the ncaa tried to throw a wrench in our gears, but we used the wrench to tighten a leaky spigot on our whisky still and now we have even more scotch.
the ncaa tried to rain on our parade, but we made that rain into ice cubes and considered putting them in our scotch, but we are real men and we drink our scotch neat. instead, we used the ice cubes to cool down barkley's cannon of an arm after he shot up the zona defense.
the ncaa tried to crap on our dreams, but we made that crap into compost, grew some barley, and turned it into scotch.
the ncaa tried to throw a wrench in our gears, but we used the wrench to tighten a leaky spigot on our whisky still and now we have even more scotch.
the ncaa tried to rain on our parade, but we made that rain into ice cubes and considered putting them in our scotch, but we are real men and we drink our scotch neat. instead, we used the ice cubes to cool down barkley's cannon of an arm after he shot up the zona defense.
editing 101
time to rip apart a news story at a certain newspaper in santa barbara. here's the basic plot: a nasty crash between two vehicles on highway 101. here's how the crash is described, with my commentary interspersed.
The crash happened on slippery roads still wet from the overnight rain, about 6:40 a.m., near the Southbound La Cumbre Road offramp.
hmm, odd placement of the time element. did it happen on "slippery roads" or a slippery highway? and why exactly is "southbound" capitalized? why not: "The crash occurred at approximately 6:40 a.m. near the southbound La Cumbre Road offramp on a slippery roadway still wet from overnight rainfall."
The CHP said that Worak III was driving in the slow lane on near La Cumbre Road. At the same time, Night was driving a white 2003 Toyota Corolla in the middle lane, slightly to the rear of the Ford.
the chp can't say anything; it's an institution, not a person. let's set aside the "on near" phrase as an unfortunate mistake. we already know the crash happened near La Cumbre Road anyway. of course the two drivers were there "at the same time." here's my version: "CHP officials said Worak was driving in the slow lane with Night, in a white 2003 Toyota Corolla, driving slightly to the rear of the Ford in the middle lane."
Worak, the CHP said, began to change lanes from the slow lane to the middle lane, directly into the path of the Toyota.
again, organizations can't speak. also the whole changing of the lanes phrase is a bit more complicated that need be: "Worak began merging into the middle lane, according to the CHP, traveling directly into the path of the Toyota."
Night swerved into the fast lane to avoid an accident, then back into the middle lane, when it crashed into the Ford. Both vehicles spun out of control onto the right shoulder, where they smacked into the guard rail. The Ford then jumped the Toyota and landed on top, where it came to a rest.
hmm. interesting how "night" becomes an "it" later in the first sentence. is it now an anthromorphic time element that is involved in the crash? the description in the following two sentences is pretty sad. my version: "Night swerved into the fast lane before skidding back into the Ford. Both vehicles spun out of control onto the right shoulder and crashed into the guard rail. Propelled into the air by the force of the impact, the Ford landed on the crumpled Toyota as the two vehicles came to a rest."
Worak’s legs were pinned against the dashboard, authorities said. Fire crews removed both of the truck’s doors to get to the driver. Since the truck landed on top of the car — about eight feet off the ground — firefighters had to stand on ladders and on top of the bottom car to make the rescue.
the first two sentences are relatively painless, but the closer is strange. why not add a bit more color and punch? like this: "As firefighters worked frantically to free the trapped man eight feet from the ground, they were forced to stand on ladders and the damaged Toyota while wielding heavy hydraulic equipment."
The crash happened on slippery roads still wet from the overnight rain, about 6:40 a.m., near the Southbound La Cumbre Road offramp.
hmm, odd placement of the time element. did it happen on "slippery roads" or a slippery highway? and why exactly is "southbound" capitalized? why not: "The crash occurred at approximately 6:40 a.m. near the southbound La Cumbre Road offramp on a slippery roadway still wet from overnight rainfall."
The CHP said that Worak III was driving in the slow lane on near La Cumbre Road. At the same time, Night was driving a white 2003 Toyota Corolla in the middle lane, slightly to the rear of the Ford.
the chp can't say anything; it's an institution, not a person. let's set aside the "on near" phrase as an unfortunate mistake. we already know the crash happened near La Cumbre Road anyway. of course the two drivers were there "at the same time." here's my version: "CHP officials said Worak was driving in the slow lane with Night, in a white 2003 Toyota Corolla, driving slightly to the rear of the Ford in the middle lane."
Worak, the CHP said, began to change lanes from the slow lane to the middle lane, directly into the path of the Toyota.
again, organizations can't speak. also the whole changing of the lanes phrase is a bit more complicated that need be: "Worak began merging into the middle lane, according to the CHP, traveling directly into the path of the Toyota."
Night swerved into the fast lane to avoid an accident, then back into the middle lane, when it crashed into the Ford. Both vehicles spun out of control onto the right shoulder, where they smacked into the guard rail. The Ford then jumped the Toyota and landed on top, where it came to a rest.
hmm. interesting how "night" becomes an "it" later in the first sentence. is it now an anthromorphic time element that is involved in the crash? the description in the following two sentences is pretty sad. my version: "Night swerved into the fast lane before skidding back into the Ford. Both vehicles spun out of control onto the right shoulder and crashed into the guard rail. Propelled into the air by the force of the impact, the Ford landed on the crumpled Toyota as the two vehicles came to a rest."
Worak’s legs were pinned against the dashboard, authorities said. Fire crews removed both of the truck’s doors to get to the driver. Since the truck landed on top of the car — about eight feet off the ground — firefighters had to stand on ladders and on top of the bottom car to make the rescue.
the first two sentences are relatively painless, but the closer is strange. why not add a bit more color and punch? like this: "As firefighters worked frantically to free the trapped man eight feet from the ground, they were forced to stand on ladders and the damaged Toyota while wielding heavy hydraulic equipment."
10.04.2011
mr. clean
aah, well. here's what's new. the girl started a new job a while back, which she hates with a passion. still plugging away at my gig with almost a year under my belt. breezed through the summer with far too few trips to the beach and missed the few solid south swells that came through. hoping this fall and winter will fare a bit better, but la nina seems to have other plans. this month promises to be a busy one. this coming weekend, we're off to el capitan canyon for a bit of cabin camping (and hopefully some surf). the next weekend, probably heading back up to sb to see the bro, sis-in-law, and the mom, who might be coming down for a visit. then it's off to saratoga for a cousin's wedding the following weekend. and we round out october with the usc v stanford water polo and football games. gonna be damn fun!
what else can i let you in on? looks like summer is official over now; we're getting a few storms rolling through this week. looking forward to having the air scrubbed clean for a day or two, and hopefully we'll get enough rain to rid my car of its pesky dust coat. ah, my car. had to get new brake pads recently, and tires are next on the to-do list. guess i should be counting my blessings. i've had the car about five years and haven't done much other than standard maintenance thus far. it's closing in on 200,000 miles pretty quickly as well.
things have been a bit slow at work lately, so if this trend continues, i might spend a bit more time here, rambling on about random things. or, more likely, i'll forget all about it in a day or two and lose all momentum.
what else can i let you in on? looks like summer is official over now; we're getting a few storms rolling through this week. looking forward to having the air scrubbed clean for a day or two, and hopefully we'll get enough rain to rid my car of its pesky dust coat. ah, my car. had to get new brake pads recently, and tires are next on the to-do list. guess i should be counting my blessings. i've had the car about five years and haven't done much other than standard maintenance thus far. it's closing in on 200,000 miles pretty quickly as well.
things have been a bit slow at work lately, so if this trend continues, i might spend a bit more time here, rambling on about random things. or, more likely, i'll forget all about it in a day or two and lose all momentum.
7.22.2011
meep
not much new to report from los angeles. it's been a bit warm lately, which is a shame because there hasn't been much reason to go to the beach. damn la nina. folks will be in town for a petanque tournament this weekend, so that should be fun. other than that, just enjoying the summer and thinking about how to use my vacation time this fall. suggestions are welcome.
7.15.2011
7.14.2011
7.13.2011
toothsome
got a bit destroyed at the dentist yesterday, but pretty much recovered today. after four-odd years without health insurance, i was expecting the worst when i went in for a cleaning. turns out, i had a bit of plaque but nothing too serious. we'll see once they review the x-rays though.
looks like a slow summer month at work. thinking about where to get away this fall. gotta use up some of this vacation time. any suggestions?
looks like a slow summer month at work. thinking about where to get away this fall. gotta use up some of this vacation time. any suggestions?
7.07.2011
hang 'em up
score one for the real journalists. murdoch's craptastic news of the world is going down in flames after its scummy reporters allegedly hacked into the voicemail messages of celebrities, relatives of dead soldiers, and a missing 13-year-old girl. naturally, they reportedly deleted some of the messages on the teenager's phone to make room for more scoopable material, giving false hope to the parents and jamming up the police investigation. oh well, at least they got some gory details and sold a few more papers.
in other news, i tracked down a few onion-like briefs i wrote up during my college days for a now-defunct site i created called enough necktie (it's an anagram). might have to revive it someday. here's a favorite:
President George W. Bush issued an embargo on all Swedish-made goods today after a meatball allegedly of Swedish origin became lodged in his throat during a fundraising dinner at the White House last night.
"We cannot continue to allow these acts of terror to take place on American soil," President Bush said. "Every American has a right to swallow their food without fear."
Witnesses of the event said the president seemed to be enjoying his dinner when he suddenly stood up with a panicked look on his face.
"His face turned red and he started waving his arms around wildly," said a White House aide, speaking on the condition of anonymity. "One of Cheney's paramedics gave him the Heimlich and the meatball came flying out, still in one piece."
Secret Service agents dove on the remaining meatballs still on the president's plate of spaghetti, knocking them to the floor. Three people were injured in the resulting scramble to get out of the room, raising the casualty count to four victims. After a thorough examination, the president's throat was downgraded to Level Yellow, still on alert for any suspicious activity.
Experts say the embargo will have a grave impact on Swedish massage therapy centers, which have seen a 72 percent decrease in clients. In addition, Ingmar Bergman films have been removed from public libraries and the administration has announced the creation of the Freedom Prize as an alternative to the Nobel Prize.
UPDATE: Preliminary research indicates that the meatballs were most likely Italian in nature. President Bush said he stands by his earlier statement that the Swedes were involved in the act of culinary terrorism.
in other news, i tracked down a few onion-like briefs i wrote up during my college days for a now-defunct site i created called enough necktie (it's an anagram). might have to revive it someday. here's a favorite:
President George W. Bush issued an embargo on all Swedish-made goods today after a meatball allegedly of Swedish origin became lodged in his throat during a fundraising dinner at the White House last night.
"We cannot continue to allow these acts of terror to take place on American soil," President Bush said. "Every American has a right to swallow their food without fear."
Witnesses of the event said the president seemed to be enjoying his dinner when he suddenly stood up with a panicked look on his face.
"His face turned red and he started waving his arms around wildly," said a White House aide, speaking on the condition of anonymity. "One of Cheney's paramedics gave him the Heimlich and the meatball came flying out, still in one piece."
Secret Service agents dove on the remaining meatballs still on the president's plate of spaghetti, knocking them to the floor. Three people were injured in the resulting scramble to get out of the room, raising the casualty count to four victims. After a thorough examination, the president's throat was downgraded to Level Yellow, still on alert for any suspicious activity.
Experts say the embargo will have a grave impact on Swedish massage therapy centers, which have seen a 72 percent decrease in clients. In addition, Ingmar Bergman films have been removed from public libraries and the administration has announced the creation of the Freedom Prize as an alternative to the Nobel Prize.
UPDATE: Preliminary research indicates that the meatballs were most likely Italian in nature. President Bush said he stands by his earlier statement that the Swedes were involved in the act of culinary terrorism.
7.06.2011
dawn of the ted
a recent convo with the girl for your amusement:
me: if there's a zombie apocalypse, would you like me to kill you before you are infected?
girl: no way dude
me: no way?
girl: no way.
girl: you want me to kill you?
me: sure
girl: ok. i'll kill you. after I become i zombie :)
me: is that a new app?
girl: ahaha
girl: i, zombie. it's like i, robot.
me: i, see
girl: yep. for the compassionate zombies with existential crises and a desire to simply know our role in the world
me: if there's a zombie apocalypse, would you like me to kill you before you are infected?
girl: no way dude
me: no way?
girl: no way.
girl: you want me to kill you?
me: sure
girl: ok. i'll kill you. after I become i zombie :)
me: is that a new app?
girl: ahaha
girl: i, zombie. it's like i, robot.
me: i, see
girl: yep. for the compassionate zombies with existential crises and a desire to simply know our role in the world
independence
spent the long fourth of july weekend (i got friday off too) relaxing and not doing too much of note. spent monday morning at zuma. i left west la at around 9 and thought i'd get there before most of the crowds showed up, but i was lucky to find one of a few remaining free parking spots along pch. despite surf reports that suggested the pacific would live up to its name, there were a few sets rolling in, so i jumped in to bodysurf a bit and discovered the water has warmed up considerably in the past few weeks. without the protection of my wetsuit, however, i got a bit sunblasted. couldn't quite reach that spot in the middle of my back, and did a slapdash job of coating my front, so i ended up a motley mix of red and tan. oh well, it's all faded by now.
looks like there might be a bit of swell in the water this coming weekend, so i'll probably head back up the coast. i doubt it will be as crowded, but you never know. i might have to spend my time dodging screaming kids and flabby ex-jocks as they splash about in the whitewater.
looks like there might be a bit of swell in the water this coming weekend, so i'll probably head back up the coast. i doubt it will be as crowded, but you never know. i might have to spend my time dodging screaming kids and flabby ex-jocks as they splash about in the whitewater.
6.24.2011
number on the wall
peter falk died today. most probably know him as columbo, but he'll always be sam diamond to me. in honor of his somewhat (ok, incredibly) infantile humor in that film, here are some of his classic lines:
The last time I trusted a dame was in Paris in 1940. She said she was going out to get a bottle of wine. Two hours later, the Germans marched into France.
Lionel Twain: I'm the greatest, I'm number one!
Sam Diamond: To me, you look like number two, know what I mean?
Dora Charleston: What does he mean, Miss Skeffington?
Tess Skeffington: I'll tell you later. It's disgusting.
That was then, this is now, and nobody knows what tomorrow will be. That's the way things are, whether we like it or not.
Now, if one of you gentlemen would be so kind as to give my lady friend here a glass of cheap white wine, I'm going down the hall to find the can. I talk so much sometimes, I forget to go.
Sam Diamond: I get fifty dollars a day plus expenses when I can get 'em, gentleman. And I owe Miss Skeffington here three years and two month's back pay. Isn't that right, angel?
Tess Skeffington: I don't care about the money, Sam.
Sam Diamond: Neither do I.
You pit your wits with me, little man, and you won't have your wits to pit with, know what I mean?
Tess Skeffington: I'm scared, Sam. Hold me.
Sam Diamond: Hold yourself. I'm busy.
Sam Diamond: Shut up, all of yas. Nobody move!
Dick Charleston: What is it?
Sam Diamond: I have to go to the can again. I don't wanna miss nothin'.
Sam Diamond: I'll be around if you need me. All you gotta do is whistle, and you know how to whistle, don't ya, baby?
Tess Skeffington: Certainly. What do you mean? I don't understand you...
Sam Diamond: All right, never mind. Forget it. You ruined it.
The last time I trusted a dame was in Paris in 1940. She said she was going out to get a bottle of wine. Two hours later, the Germans marched into France.
Lionel Twain: I'm the greatest, I'm number one!
Sam Diamond: To me, you look like number two, know what I mean?
Dora Charleston: What does he mean, Miss Skeffington?
Tess Skeffington: I'll tell you later. It's disgusting.
That was then, this is now, and nobody knows what tomorrow will be. That's the way things are, whether we like it or not.
Now, if one of you gentlemen would be so kind as to give my lady friend here a glass of cheap white wine, I'm going down the hall to find the can. I talk so much sometimes, I forget to go.
Sam Diamond: I get fifty dollars a day plus expenses when I can get 'em, gentleman. And I owe Miss Skeffington here three years and two month's back pay. Isn't that right, angel?
Tess Skeffington: I don't care about the money, Sam.
Sam Diamond: Neither do I.
You pit your wits with me, little man, and you won't have your wits to pit with, know what I mean?
Tess Skeffington: I'm scared, Sam. Hold me.
Sam Diamond: Hold yourself. I'm busy.
Sam Diamond: Shut up, all of yas. Nobody move!
Dick Charleston: What is it?
Sam Diamond: I have to go to the can again. I don't wanna miss nothin'.
Sam Diamond: I'll be around if you need me. All you gotta do is whistle, and you know how to whistle, don't ya, baby?
Tess Skeffington: Certainly. What do you mean? I don't understand you...
Sam Diamond: All right, never mind. Forget it. You ruined it.
ace
i'm all for not confusing the reader, but this tennis story by diane pucin of the times (whose writing has not been too offensive in the past) screamed out at me. here are the first few lines:
Andy Roddick is a huge favorite at Wimbledon. Fans appreciate his personality and the effort he gives, especially after Roddick lost 16-14 in the fifth set of the finals two years ago to Roger Federer.
And when Roddick skipped this year's French Open, partly to let heal a sore shoulder, and partly because, as he says, he's realistic about the fact that at 28 years old and with his legs slowing down, Roddick has little chance of doing well on clay, it seemed fair to believe Roddick when he said he was a contender here.
leaving aside the meandering and comma-laden second graf for now, let's consider the use of pronouns (or lack thereof). as an editor, i would eliminate the second, fourth, and fifth use of "Roddick." much smoother flow, in my opinion, and i'm doubtful anyone would think pucin is referring to someone else. let's move rog up in the first graf to avoid splitting "lost" and "to." fix up the awkward shoulder-healing phrase. i'd also throw in some em dashes in the second graf (a somewhat controversial move, apparently, although i feel they can help the reader experience the sentence as the author intended, if used appropriately), and touch up the 28-year-old with old legs bit. i'm not too sure what his skipping the french open has to do with whether we believe he's a contender at wimbledon, but let's see how it looks with my changes:
Andy Roddick is a huge favorite at Wimbledon. Fans appreciate his personality and the effort he gives, especially after he lost to Roger Federer 16-14 in the fifth set of the finals two years ago.
And when Roddick skipped this year's French Open—partly to rest a sore shoulder and partly because, as he says, he's realistic about the fact that as a 28-year-old with slowing legs, he has little chance of doing well on clay—it seemed fair to believe him when he said he was a contender here.
there's your grammar/editing lesson for the day. i'm sure plenty of people would do it differently, but that's my take. any complaints?
Andy Roddick is a huge favorite at Wimbledon. Fans appreciate his personality and the effort he gives, especially after Roddick lost 16-14 in the fifth set of the finals two years ago to Roger Federer.
And when Roddick skipped this year's French Open, partly to let heal a sore shoulder, and partly because, as he says, he's realistic about the fact that at 28 years old and with his legs slowing down, Roddick has little chance of doing well on clay, it seemed fair to believe Roddick when he said he was a contender here.
leaving aside the meandering and comma-laden second graf for now, let's consider the use of pronouns (or lack thereof). as an editor, i would eliminate the second, fourth, and fifth use of "Roddick." much smoother flow, in my opinion, and i'm doubtful anyone would think pucin is referring to someone else. let's move rog up in the first graf to avoid splitting "lost" and "to." fix up the awkward shoulder-healing phrase. i'd also throw in some em dashes in the second graf (a somewhat controversial move, apparently, although i feel they can help the reader experience the sentence as the author intended, if used appropriately), and touch up the 28-year-old with old legs bit. i'm not too sure what his skipping the french open has to do with whether we believe he's a contender at wimbledon, but let's see how it looks with my changes:
Andy Roddick is a huge favorite at Wimbledon. Fans appreciate his personality and the effort he gives, especially after he lost to Roger Federer 16-14 in the fifth set of the finals two years ago.
And when Roddick skipped this year's French Open—partly to rest a sore shoulder and partly because, as he says, he's realistic about the fact that as a 28-year-old with slowing legs, he has little chance of doing well on clay—it seemed fair to believe him when he said he was a contender here.
there's your grammar/editing lesson for the day. i'm sure plenty of people would do it differently, but that's my take. any complaints?
zap
on the way into work, saw a highway alert sign reading "watch out for highway workers." always trying to jump into slow-moving cars or throw water balloons.
for those of you well-versed in warzone: tower defense, check out this setup i came up with:
for those of you well-versed in warzone: tower defense, check out this setup i came up with:
6.23.2011
on fire
two smokin' hot peppers were the highlight of a rather bland and boring green papaya salad from tj's. oh well, worth a try. i'll have to stick with the only-somewhat bland green curry-infused rice and start bringing some red pepper flakes to work to spice it up.
it's been a really slow week, and i'm going a bit stir crazy. looks like i should have a few things lined up for tomorrow, however. just need to make it through this afternoon. swell should be building into the weekend for once, so i might get a few decent waves in north la. one can only dream.
feds found the guy whose nefarious mob activities provided fodder for jack nicholson's character in the departed. he was living in santa monica. wonder if i wandered past him at any point on the promenade or along ocean avenue.
it's been a really slow week, and i'm going a bit stir crazy. looks like i should have a few things lined up for tomorrow, however. just need to make it through this afternoon. swell should be building into the weekend for once, so i might get a few decent waves in north la. one can only dream.
feds found the guy whose nefarious mob activities provided fodder for jack nicholson's character in the departed. he was living in santa monica. wonder if i wandered past him at any point on the promenade or along ocean avenue.
6.22.2011
microclimes
thank god i live near the coast. temps supposed to hit triple digits inland but remain in the 80s with morning fog along the beach during the next few days. phew. i'll just have to suffer through the 15-minute wait at the bus stop in the afternoon.
started reading the gay talese reader on the bus this morning. the guy's got skills. i'd read his (probably most well-known) piece on sinatra, but felt inspired by his enjoyably rambling description of the minutiae of new york life. i'd consider pursuing a similar project here in los angeles, just for fun, but it would take too long to explore this sprawl of a city.
started reading the gay talese reader on the bus this morning. the guy's got skills. i'd read his (probably most well-known) piece on sinatra, but felt inspired by his enjoyably rambling description of the minutiae of new york life. i'd consider pursuing a similar project here in los angeles, just for fun, but it would take too long to explore this sprawl of a city.
6.16.2011
aging war
instead of listening to any apology i might offer, read these. much more entertaining.
bit of a misty, foggy, dreary day out there in los angeles. feeling bad for those with sad. i.e., seasonal affective disorder, aka, "it's winter, i'm bummed" syndrome. might be a bit of swell out there today, but of course it's going to crap by the weekend. celebrated my first breath of fresno air last weekend with the fam. feeling a bit older, especially with the girlfriend pointing out white hairs in my beard and lamenting about my 50/50 chance of going bald. yep, mom's dad had a follicle-free pate. beginning to imagine (or notice) areas of thinning. give me 20 years and i could be this guy.
bit of a misty, foggy, dreary day out there in los angeles. feeling bad for those with sad. i.e., seasonal affective disorder, aka, "it's winter, i'm bummed" syndrome. might be a bit of swell out there today, but of course it's going to crap by the weekend. celebrated my first breath of fresno air last weekend with the fam. feeling a bit older, especially with the girlfriend pointing out white hairs in my beard and lamenting about my 50/50 chance of going bald. yep, mom's dad had a follicle-free pate. beginning to imagine (or notice) areas of thinning. give me 20 years and i could be this guy.
5.27.2011
(un)smartphone
a few good reasons not to get an iphone:
especially if you text your parents
or
you want to prolong a dying relationship
ouch.
especially if you text your parents
or
you want to prolong a dying relationship
ouch.
5.25.2011
fall
it's hard to remember the rainy days of my childhood. i know they must have occurred, but when i try to picture trudging across the elementary school playground in a downpour, my memory is blank. i don't remember denim clinging wetly to my legs, nor drops of rainwater falling from my hair onto a desk. rainy days are a hassle now, and i have no difficulty conjuring memories of the long, soaking bike ride from my apartment to campus during college, or the frustration of trying to cover breaking news stories in the driving rain. but my childhood is blank. beyond the fact that it is meteorologically implausible that i passed through my youth without a rain-drenched moment, i can remember the days of physical education spent indoors due to a storm. i can picture the small, four-wheeled contraptions we used to wheel around the hardwood basketball courts, resembling miniature furniture movers goofing around on flat dollies.
but what i remember most is the giant silk parachute that the p.e. coach would haul out of some dusty closet and unfold in the middle of the gymnasium. my classmates and i would circle along the edge, grabbing hold of the soft fabric. at first we rippled the material up and down with furious pumps of our arms, as a few lucky schoolmates ran under the undulating canopy and peeked their head through the small hole in the center. then, with a little coaxing and cajoling by the teacher, we managed to float the parachute up, then down, up, then down, each time capturing more air underneath its belly, until the countdown ended and we reached up one more time, then raced forward and slid the chute behind us, plopping down on the edge and trapping the air inside. for a few graceful moments, the canopy floated above us, holding us within its embrace, the atmosphere growing warm with our breath. then the material sagged, losing its shape, folding in and wrapping us in its silky folds. i wanted those moments to last an eternity.
but what i remember most is the giant silk parachute that the p.e. coach would haul out of some dusty closet and unfold in the middle of the gymnasium. my classmates and i would circle along the edge, grabbing hold of the soft fabric. at first we rippled the material up and down with furious pumps of our arms, as a few lucky schoolmates ran under the undulating canopy and peeked their head through the small hole in the center. then, with a little coaxing and cajoling by the teacher, we managed to float the parachute up, then down, up, then down, each time capturing more air underneath its belly, until the countdown ended and we reached up one more time, then raced forward and slid the chute behind us, plopping down on the edge and trapping the air inside. for a few graceful moments, the canopy floated above us, holding us within its embrace, the atmosphere growing warm with our breath. then the material sagged, losing its shape, folding in and wrapping us in its silky folds. i wanted those moments to last an eternity.
5.24.2011
turret
its been a busy few weeks here, and i haven't found much free time or energy to write up a new post or two. so i apologize. here's something with which to amuse yourself.
5.10.2011
damn bird
busy here, but i had a few minutes left this afternoon to crush my previous record at girp. if you haven't tried it out, click here and struggle through those first frustrating attempts to scale the rocky cliff. i'd hate to spoil the ending for you, so i'll just say that my time is 5m, 55s, so you have something to aspire to. enjoy!
5.05.2011
irrelevant fact of the day
statistically speaking, there are nearly six popes per square mile in vatican city.
5.04.2011
mystery meat
alright, i'll admit it. i went in to subway for lunch the other day with plans to grab a veggie sandwich, partly to stay healthy, partly to avoid the usually gross-looking meat products. let's just say that i stuck to that plan, as my latter concern was validated. while waiting to order, i scanned the menu out of boredom until my attention was drawn to the cold cut combo. below the name and a photo of a sub that looks nothing like any sandwich i've ever seen produced assembly line-style by hands gloved in plastic, a small line of text stated: bologna, ham, and salami. then my eye caught another, smaller line of text below that: all meats are turkey-based. my mind recoiled in horror. let's parse it out.
turkey bologna. ok, fine. who the hell knows what bologna is made out of anyway. it seems to be a vaguely hotdog-like substance, which definitely fits the mystery meat bill.
turkey salami. again, somewhat acceptable. pork or beef still seems like a better fit for cured meats, but we have turkey and chicken sausage, so why not salami? nonetheless, still slightly disturbing for reasons i have yet to pin down.
turkey ham. wow. let's just think about this for a moment. turkey. that's poultry. that has wings. ham. that's a cut of meat from the hind leg of a pig, surely. so what in the blazes is turkey ham? maybe pigs can fly after all.
turkey bologna. ok, fine. who the hell knows what bologna is made out of anyway. it seems to be a vaguely hotdog-like substance, which definitely fits the mystery meat bill.
turkey salami. again, somewhat acceptable. pork or beef still seems like a better fit for cured meats, but we have turkey and chicken sausage, so why not salami? nonetheless, still slightly disturbing for reasons i have yet to pin down.
turkey ham. wow. let's just think about this for a moment. turkey. that's poultry. that has wings. ham. that's a cut of meat from the hind leg of a pig, surely. so what in the blazes is turkey ham? maybe pigs can fly after all.
4.29.2011
ac free
work crush has slowed a bit, so i can finally return to looking at silly photos or reading disturbing text messages on tfln (google it). ready for a little sunshine and outdoorsy activities this weekend after spending five days mostly indoors, glued to one screen or another. had to take a few trips outside of the office this week, and it was incredible how much better i felt just by stepping outdoors and breathing in uncanned, albeit smoggy, air. still dealing with some kind of sinus issue, so that's a pain, but otherwise i feel healthy and up for a nice 14-mile hike or lounge on the beach.
so lets recap what has happened since i last checked in. the royals had their wedding. trump continues to be a publicity whore. the midwest is considering a change from tornado alley to tornado expressway. and the lakers and sharks are both moving on in the playoffs. oh, and usc football tickets go on sale in half a month.
so lets recap what has happened since i last checked in. the royals had their wedding. trump continues to be a publicity whore. the midwest is considering a change from tornado alley to tornado expressway. and the lakers and sharks are both moving on in the playoffs. oh, and usc football tickets go on sale in half a month.
4.20.2011
green day
you can definitely tell when there is a religious holiday in this town, especially a jewish one. about half as many passengers as is customary have been boarding the commuter bus lately, beginning with the onset of passover yesterday. the freeways seem less crowded, the streets leading away from downtown less populated with vehicles in the afternoon rush.
speaking of holidays, i just realized today is a significant holiday for a certain long-haired (or occasionally short, frat-boy-haired) population. satellites are picking up an unusually dense cloud of smoke above the university of colorado. supermarkets are running low on supplies of pringles and gummy worms. ditto for pharmacies re: eye drops. social conservatives everywhere are infuriated beyond belief.
speaking of holidays, i just realized today is a significant holiday for a certain long-haired (or occasionally short, frat-boy-haired) population. satellites are picking up an unusually dense cloud of smoke above the university of colorado. supermarkets are running low on supplies of pringles and gummy worms. ditto for pharmacies re: eye drops. social conservatives everywhere are infuriated beyond belief.
4.18.2011
acid aftermath
hiked mt. wilson again yesterday. it was much hotter than the last time i hit that trail a few months ago, and it made all the difference. didn't drink enough water on the way up and my head was swimming by the time i hoofed it up the last few steep miles of the climb. in my somewhat sun-weary state, i left the cap to my stanley thermos near a rock after taking a minute in the shade. totally bummed. then i checked stanley's website and found out they only charge $5 for a new cap. awesome.
work has definitely picked up. seems like i've been getting a steady stream of stuff to do lately, keeping me busy. the weather continues its oddity; blazing hot one day, overcast and chilly the next. don't know what to put on before i walk out the door these days.
waiting on some good waves. in the meantime, enjoying the iba box pro. they've got a live webcast from western australia. unfortunately, the commentators are pretty pathetic, and the production is dodgy as well. missing waves, failing to load up replays, etc.
work has definitely picked up. seems like i've been getting a steady stream of stuff to do lately, keeping me busy. the weather continues its oddity; blazing hot one day, overcast and chilly the next. don't know what to put on before i walk out the door these days.
waiting on some good waves. in the meantime, enjoying the iba box pro. they've got a live webcast from western australia. unfortunately, the commentators are pretty pathetic, and the production is dodgy as well. missing waves, failing to load up replays, etc.
4.07.2011
huckster bluster
feeling like a laugh? mosey on over and check this out, if you haven't already marveled at the splendidly moronic performance of donald trump on the today show. i could see the glow spreading behind meredith's eyes as she saw the interview gold piling up.
the world is laughing at america, donald? perhaps because there are a handful of living, breathing, semi-literate beings in this country who actually believe you might run for president, and that you actually would do a good job. if donald trump runs for president on the republican ticket, we might as well save money on election ballots and just let obama hold on to his keys to the white house. of course, if ol' combover is just looking for a bit of publicity, a little more attention (which i'm clearly pleased to offer, albeit heaped with steaming sarcasm), then his current strategy is a peach.
the world is laughing at america, donald? perhaps because there are a handful of living, breathing, semi-literate beings in this country who actually believe you might run for president, and that you actually would do a good job. if donald trump runs for president on the republican ticket, we might as well save money on election ballots and just let obama hold on to his keys to the white house. of course, if ol' combover is just looking for a bit of publicity, a little more attention (which i'm clearly pleased to offer, albeit heaped with steaming sarcasm), then his current strategy is a peach.
4.05.2011
drying paint
wow, can you say most boring ncaa championship basketball game ever? i could have taken a dump in my hand and stared at it for 40 minutes and it would have been more interesting. ok, that was a little over the top and somewhat crude, i'll admit. but butler's 18.8 percent from the field? and two points in the paint? i think jeremy lamb spoke for all of us watching when he was fouled (without a whistle from the refs) while going to the hoop on a breakaway and the network's backboard mics caught him howling, what the fuck!?
in other news, been keeping an eye on the decorah eagle webcam. if you don't know what it is, you aren't among the 11 million-plus people who have tuned in to watch a couple of bald eagles care for their newly hatched chicks on a live stream from their nest in iowa. pretty amusing to watch the fuzzy little dudes fall over each other and faceplant as their mom tries to shovel oversize bits of raw meat into their tiny beaks. for the most part, it's just the mom sitting on top of the chicks, which, all things considered, is still more exciting than last night's game.
in other news, been keeping an eye on the decorah eagle webcam. if you don't know what it is, you aren't among the 11 million-plus people who have tuned in to watch a couple of bald eagles care for their newly hatched chicks on a live stream from their nest in iowa. pretty amusing to watch the fuzzy little dudes fall over each other and faceplant as their mom tries to shovel oversize bits of raw meat into their tiny beaks. for the most part, it's just the mom sitting on top of the chicks, which, all things considered, is still more exciting than last night's game.
4.04.2011
flux
i've been sidelined with some work and a little eye trouble, so i've been missing from these pages. but things have slowed back down, so here i am again. not a whole lot to report, other than an annoying issue with my contacts/eyes that has been going on for a week now. i won't get into it, but it's been a pain. weather has been a little strange lately. last week started out chilly, quickly spiked to 93 in downtown los angeles, then dropped back into the 60s. reminds me of that lewis black bit.
3.23.2011
being the afternoon
i know it's important to be quick when writing news for the web, but taking a few seconds to read the headline you wrote might be a little more important. check this screen shot from the la times. but, by the time i took the screen shot and wrote this post, they had fixed the error, so kudos for the quick cover-up. ps, ladies, feel free to drool over paul.
3.18.2011
pecan log
complete absurdity courtesy of newt the nut.
oh, oh, this just in. obama spent two minutes brushing his teeth and 40 seconds knotting his tie this morning. how dare he waste his time on such trivialities when he could be doing something else the republicans will complain about like whiny 3-year-olds anyway?
oh, oh, this just in. obama spent two minutes brushing his teeth and 40 seconds knotting his tie this morning. how dare he waste his time on such trivialities when he could be doing something else the republicans will complain about like whiny 3-year-olds anyway?
3.16.2011
three for one
on a run by holmby park today, i actually heard a woman say to her friend as they sat on a blanket on the grass, "i was worried at first, but i got a good baby," referring to the wriggling infant at her knee as if she had picked it out of a bin at walmart.
3.14.2011
summit
spent much of the weekend in santa barbara. drove up saturday morning and stopped off at seacliff for a bodyboarding session in fun but inconsistent waves. my brother drove down and met up with me there, but the swell had already started to drop off when he arrived and my hands had numbed to the point that i could barely turn the key to open the trunk of my car. water definitely seemed colder than i remembered. ice cream headache on the paddle out.
on sunday, we headed down to the pit to check the waves, but didn't even bother unloading our gear after a quick glance at the two-foot slop. after very nearly settling in for an afternoon of junky television, we decided to take a short hike. setting off up tunnel trail around 12:30 or so, we pressed on past rattlesnake connector and ended up trudging to the top of la cumbre peak, the tallest point in the front country range at just under 4,000 feet. after a quick break to enjoy the view, we scrambled back down the six-odd miles to my car. i forgot how punishing the descent is, with each jolting step on rust-yellow rock sending currents of pain into the calves and knees. definitely hurting today. looks like there might be a bit of swell in the water tomorrow and wednesday; thinking about heading straight to zuma after work now that we have an extra hour of daylight in the evening. might not be worth it if it takes more than an hour to get there, but we'll see.
on sunday, we headed down to the pit to check the waves, but didn't even bother unloading our gear after a quick glance at the two-foot slop. after very nearly settling in for an afternoon of junky television, we decided to take a short hike. setting off up tunnel trail around 12:30 or so, we pressed on past rattlesnake connector and ended up trudging to the top of la cumbre peak, the tallest point in the front country range at just under 4,000 feet. after a quick break to enjoy the view, we scrambled back down the six-odd miles to my car. i forgot how punishing the descent is, with each jolting step on rust-yellow rock sending currents of pain into the calves and knees. definitely hurting today. looks like there might be a bit of swell in the water tomorrow and wednesday; thinking about heading straight to zuma after work now that we have an extra hour of daylight in the evening. might not be worth it if it takes more than an hour to get there, but we'll see.
3.08.2011
l.a. day
hiked most of mount wilson trail this past weekend. my legs are a little unhappy, but the hike was great. reminded me a lot of the trails above santa barbara. the first section is pretty much exposed cutbacks in scrub with a few oaks here and there. offers a few views of the san gabriel valley and beyond, if the air is clear enough. staring back at the valley floor below, i noticed the 10 highway winding eastward and a parking lot filled with cars, the sunlight shivering on their windshields. i could almost picture the vista without humanity's touch, a giant basin sloping gently down to the sea. i hit the next section in the early afternoon, which was great. the trail ducks along an east-facing slope, giving me a break from the sun. after another two miles or so, i hit orchard camp, a nice little glen alongside the creek. but i was thinking about making it to the top and didn't want to slow down. another few miles into the hike and i decided to turn back. i estimate i was only a short distance from manzanita ridge, but i had to be back by a certain time so people wouldn't be worried. i ran most of the way back down and ended up with plenty of time to spare.
on the drive back to westwood, i tried to imagine seeing los angeles and its labyrinth of highways for the first time. it seemed so overwhelmingly depressing at first, the neverending concrete construction barriers, the constant traffic, the drab buildings jutting above the sound wall. but small instances of beauty filtered through: on a rise in the highway, the red and white lights of traffic spread out ahead like a jeweled carpet; the tram near the getty center glowed like a fluorescent inchworm as it wound its way along the hillside; the towering buildings along the wilshire corridor glimmered with a patchwork of lit and unlit windows. despite the bad air, the angry drivers, the immense sprawl of the place, i had to admit some small affinity for los angeles in those moments.
on the drive back to westwood, i tried to imagine seeing los angeles and its labyrinth of highways for the first time. it seemed so overwhelmingly depressing at first, the neverending concrete construction barriers, the constant traffic, the drab buildings jutting above the sound wall. but small instances of beauty filtered through: on a rise in the highway, the red and white lights of traffic spread out ahead like a jeweled carpet; the tram near the getty center glowed like a fluorescent inchworm as it wound its way along the hillside; the towering buildings along the wilshire corridor glimmered with a patchwork of lit and unlit windows. despite the bad air, the angry drivers, the immense sprawl of the place, i had to admit some small affinity for los angeles in those moments.
2.28.2011
symbology
those crazy iranians. seeing more evil imagery in random logos that glenn beck.
my left eyelid has been twitching once or twice a day for the past few weeks. cause? probably lack of sleep, stress, etc. still can't get used to this whole "getting up before 7" thing.
my left eyelid has been twitching once or twice a day for the past few weeks. cause? probably lack of sleep, stress, etc. still can't get used to this whole "getting up before 7" thing.
2.24.2011
life in the fast lane
it's been a while, but it's because i've actually had some work to do. things seem to be picking up, which is good for my sanity and sense of ethical duty to actually do something worthwhile before picking up my paycheck. i have to admit, that recent post about bad driving in northern california is being amended here. i took a drive down to irvine and san diego last weekend and the folks on the road with me were just as obnoxious as those in norcal. my mistake.
just to rant about one more thing, while i'm on that topic, i had the most ridiculous experience at trader joe's the other night. hitting the store anytime between 6 and 8:30 is usually a bad idea, but i chanced it. the placed was moderately busy, and there was actually some food left on the shelves. i grabbed my stuff and headed to the checkout line. after a quick survey, i settled on the "express" lane, as the other registers had several people with packed shopping carts waiting in line. i had three people in front of me. at the register, a woman stood digging through her pockets. her items had been bagged and placed in her cart, and she was apparently trying to come up with exact change. after about a minute of jamming her hand around, she failed to come up with the requisite amount needed to settle the tab. so after spending another minute on math problems, trying to figure out how to get the least amount of change back, apparently, she finally handed over some more bills. then she asked the cashier to place plastic bags around her paper bags, a process that is much faster if they aren't already bulging with groceries. so the cashier kindly did as he was told. then the woman received a call on her cell phone. rather than telling the caller to wait a moment, she chatted on amiably as she attempted to gather her spilled coinage from the checkout stand and stuff items back into her pockets. the next customer in line had paid and left by the time she completed the process. as i waited for the last customer in front of me to pay for his bottle of wine, the woman finally tottered through the doors. but she paused outside, seemed to think of something, and then turned back to the store, her phone still clutched to her ear. after checking her pockets, she apparently found what she was looking for, and returned to her cart. after buying a basketload of items, i headed to my car and noticed the same woman, still on the phone, trying to load her bags into a poorly parked mercedes. luckily, i escaped from the parking garage before she joined the line of exiting vehicles. i can only imagine how long it took her to figure out that she didn't validate her parking pass.
just to rant about one more thing, while i'm on that topic, i had the most ridiculous experience at trader joe's the other night. hitting the store anytime between 6 and 8:30 is usually a bad idea, but i chanced it. the placed was moderately busy, and there was actually some food left on the shelves. i grabbed my stuff and headed to the checkout line. after a quick survey, i settled on the "express" lane, as the other registers had several people with packed shopping carts waiting in line. i had three people in front of me. at the register, a woman stood digging through her pockets. her items had been bagged and placed in her cart, and she was apparently trying to come up with exact change. after about a minute of jamming her hand around, she failed to come up with the requisite amount needed to settle the tab. so after spending another minute on math problems, trying to figure out how to get the least amount of change back, apparently, she finally handed over some more bills. then she asked the cashier to place plastic bags around her paper bags, a process that is much faster if they aren't already bulging with groceries. so the cashier kindly did as he was told. then the woman received a call on her cell phone. rather than telling the caller to wait a moment, she chatted on amiably as she attempted to gather her spilled coinage from the checkout stand and stuff items back into her pockets. the next customer in line had paid and left by the time she completed the process. as i waited for the last customer in front of me to pay for his bottle of wine, the woman finally tottered through the doors. but she paused outside, seemed to think of something, and then turned back to the store, her phone still clutched to her ear. after checking her pockets, she apparently found what she was looking for, and returned to her cart. after buying a basketload of items, i headed to my car and noticed the same woman, still on the phone, trying to load her bags into a poorly parked mercedes. luckily, i escaped from the parking garage before she joined the line of exiting vehicles. i can only imagine how long it took her to figure out that she didn't validate her parking pass.
2.15.2011
blarney
looks like we'll be getting some rain this week. no waves, of course, besides the slop that usually washes up during a storm. ireland is getting walloped by a massive swell; 40-50 foot waves expected in some areas. i told my girlfriend that, and she responded by saying that the water must be freezing. that wouldn't be my biggest worry if i were out in a swell like that.
got an hour before i jet out of here. only a few minor things to work on. ready for a heavier workload, for sure.
got an hour before i jet out of here. only a few minor things to work on. ready for a heavier workload, for sure.
2.14.2011
driving school
i hate to generalize, but northern californians have some strange driving habits. my experience this past weekend led me to conclude that there are a few rules to driving in the bay area (and generally north of the central valley). first, if you are on a freeway and in the fast lane, you need to drive at least 3-5 mph below the speed limit, and preferably at the exact same speed as the driver in the lane to your right. bonus points if you can line up enough drivers across the lanes to clog up the entire freeway. secondly, if an opportunity presents itself to cut someone off, by all means, have at it. bonus points if you succeed in reducing their speed by 10 mph or more. added bonus if you then realize you don't want to be in that lane, and slam on the brakes before cutting someone else off and veering across multiple lanes.
all these events took place on repeated occasions during my recent trip to san francisco (with the girlfriend for her mfa auditions). but the kicker was on the return trip, after a long day, with a six-hour drive stretching out before us. as we headed onto the 152 through pacheco pass, trying to jog from the 101 to the 5, i had an opportunity to pass a minivan before the road narrowed to one lane in either direction (with no passing allowed). but everything seemed kosher as we cruised through the last vestiges of fast food joints and gas stations. the driver was hitting the speed limit and displayed no signs of insanity. that theory crumbled as quickly as the road narrowed, leaving me trapped behind as the driver periodically slowed to 30 mph, apparently fearful that vehicles heading toward us might leap across the double yellow, given his propensity to slam on the brakes whenever a semi approached. despite signs clearly marking the speed limit at 55 mph, with the occasional curve dropping that limit to 50, the driver continued to plod his way along the gently curving stretch, gradually building an impressive collection of pissed off motorists in his wake. my blood wasn't quite boiling by the time we reached the passing lane as the highway heads into the pass, but it quickly became apparent that said boiling point had been reached and breached by many of those lined up in tailgating rage, as they began screaming by at unholy speeds. glad to be free of the lunacy on both ends, i settled into a reasonable pace and finished off the trek with hardly any trouble.
all these events took place on repeated occasions during my recent trip to san francisco (with the girlfriend for her mfa auditions). but the kicker was on the return trip, after a long day, with a six-hour drive stretching out before us. as we headed onto the 152 through pacheco pass, trying to jog from the 101 to the 5, i had an opportunity to pass a minivan before the road narrowed to one lane in either direction (with no passing allowed). but everything seemed kosher as we cruised through the last vestiges of fast food joints and gas stations. the driver was hitting the speed limit and displayed no signs of insanity. that theory crumbled as quickly as the road narrowed, leaving me trapped behind as the driver periodically slowed to 30 mph, apparently fearful that vehicles heading toward us might leap across the double yellow, given his propensity to slam on the brakes whenever a semi approached. despite signs clearly marking the speed limit at 55 mph, with the occasional curve dropping that limit to 50, the driver continued to plod his way along the gently curving stretch, gradually building an impressive collection of pissed off motorists in his wake. my blood wasn't quite boiling by the time we reached the passing lane as the highway heads into the pass, but it quickly became apparent that said boiling point had been reached and breached by many of those lined up in tailgating rage, as they began screaming by at unholy speeds. glad to be free of the lunacy on both ends, i settled into a reasonable pace and finished off the trek with hardly any trouble.
2.11.2011
travails
i feel like taking on some painful and arduous journey for the sake of self-exploration, etc. i'll admit the impetus for this desire; reading the story of two men who walked the camino de santiago, the 500-mile pilgrimmage across spain, was enough to set me off, despite the long, graphic descriptions of thumb-sized blisters and dingy hostels. i'm not sure about spain though. maybe something in california; there's the pacific crest trail, but that's 2,600 miles, if you count oregon and washington. a bit much to start with. i'll have to come up with something shorter.
in other news, one of the escalators in my building is down for maintenance. while there are elevators that serve most of the 30 floors, the escalators run from floors 1-4, and are much more convenient. but when they shut down, they are truly a pain. well, not the escalators themselves. it's the damn building management. instead of simply allowing people to walk up the escalators as if they were steps, they set up yellow barricades around the broken segment. that's fine, i suppose, but then i end up going down one floor and finding the next escalator broken. then i'm taking the elevator to or from the second floor, and i get glares of death from other people heading up 10 stories, who believe i'm the laziest sad sack in the city. he can't even ride the escalator for one floor, the pathetic, servile, wretched waste of human life, their slight shift upon seeing me enter the elevator seems to say. and this isn't some occasional occurrence. oh no. these escalators break down more than glenn beck on one of his patriotism kicks. it's really unacceptable. on the other hand, the building management reworked the toilets (you'll have to scroll down to my earlier post about their inadequate flow rate) and now they suck with the force of a jet engine. more green and efficient than flushing three times to, ahem, clear the decks? that's debatable.
in other news, one of the escalators in my building is down for maintenance. while there are elevators that serve most of the 30 floors, the escalators run from floors 1-4, and are much more convenient. but when they shut down, they are truly a pain. well, not the escalators themselves. it's the damn building management. instead of simply allowing people to walk up the escalators as if they were steps, they set up yellow barricades around the broken segment. that's fine, i suppose, but then i end up going down one floor and finding the next escalator broken. then i'm taking the elevator to or from the second floor, and i get glares of death from other people heading up 10 stories, who believe i'm the laziest sad sack in the city. he can't even ride the escalator for one floor, the pathetic, servile, wretched waste of human life, their slight shift upon seeing me enter the elevator seems to say. and this isn't some occasional occurrence. oh no. these escalators break down more than glenn beck on one of his patriotism kicks. it's really unacceptable. on the other hand, the building management reworked the toilets (you'll have to scroll down to my earlier post about their inadequate flow rate) and now they suck with the force of a jet engine. more green and efficient than flushing three times to, ahem, clear the decks? that's debatable.
2.08.2011
smoke out
internet was down this morning at work. how do they expect me to get anything done without the occasional sudoku break to clear the mind? sheesh.
the girlfriend had a rude awakening this morning. a knock on the door, then a quick turn of the key before she could jump out of bed and get dressed, or even yell loudly enough to be heard. turns out the maintenance guys wanted to change the smoke detector. the landlord apparently left a message last night, but it wasn't received. seems a little rude, but all was sorted in the end.
been watching rescue me, the fx show about new york city firefighters. well, more about the carousing, booziness, and general mayhem of a few firefighters in particular. it's already shifting into nip/tuck territory, with the list of illogical and seemingly impossible events expanding exponentially each episode. oh well, it's pulp entertainment, and at the end of the day, i'm not looking for much of a strain on the old noggin.
the girlfriend had a rude awakening this morning. a knock on the door, then a quick turn of the key before she could jump out of bed and get dressed, or even yell loudly enough to be heard. turns out the maintenance guys wanted to change the smoke detector. the landlord apparently left a message last night, but it wasn't received. seems a little rude, but all was sorted in the end.
been watching rescue me, the fx show about new york city firefighters. well, more about the carousing, booziness, and general mayhem of a few firefighters in particular. it's already shifting into nip/tuck territory, with the list of illogical and seemingly impossible events expanding exponentially each episode. oh well, it's pulp entertainment, and at the end of the day, i'm not looking for much of a strain on the old noggin.
2.04.2011
rebound
why must fridays drag by so slowly. here's a good thing to do on the fourth day of any month. email or announce excitedly to your friends or coworkers, 'happy star wars day!' when they look at you quizzically, proudly pronounce, 'may the fourth be with you!' well, that's enough silliness. ready for the weekend to be here. work is sluggish; i need something to do here, folks. other than that, i can't really complain. taking a quick trip to san francisco in a week, so there's something to look forward to. and this crappy winter (wave-wise) can't end soon enough. ready for some summer south swells.
1.26.2011
last stop
with a heaving sigh, she plunked her heavy form into the seat next to me, her clothes stinking of cigarette smoke like a cheap motel room. damn.
1.25.2011
stoke
after a painfully long dry spell, i packed up my gear and headed up the coast this weekend in anticipation of a strong northwest swell that had walloped hawaii a day or so earlier and was expected to march along california, bringing much-needed surf to our wave-starved souls. zuma on saturday proved disappointing, with mostly walled-out conditions and a few rogue bombs rolling through to clear out the lineup. on a longer journey the following day, i scored in ventura county at a fairly uncrowded spot that managed to focus the swell energy without offering up only closeouts. with a nice set rolling in as i pulled up, i had worries that it would be a rough paddle out, given my general lack of swimming stamina of late. but the waves proved a bit inconsistent, and i was more than happy to accept that fact, given that i only had to duck-dive once on the way out. a few monster sets caught me inside, but the waves weren't as steep as zuma and i easily ducked under most of them. storm energy is supposed to start fading through the next few weeks, so it may be a return to business as usual as far as this winter is concerned. so much for working on my stamina.
1.24.2011
eject
the bathrooms in this place are absurd. i fully understand and support the concept of water conservation, but these auto-flush toilets are creating more waste than a standard push-handle model. for one, the things somehow manage to pick up my presence moments after stepping into the stall, and flush at least once before i even sit down. after i stand up, they flush once again, but don't quite get the job done (i apologize for the image, but it had to be said). so i'm forced to hold my hand in front of the sensor, which has now apparently fallen asleep on the job. after a few minutes of frantic waving, the thing finally registers movement and finishes up the task. to sum up: at least three flushes per visit. hardly efficient in my book.
1.21.2011
jejune
along a tired stretch of venice, two young boys, not more than four or five years old, maybe twins, even, were being tugged along the sidewalk by their mother, their heads turning to stare at the world passing by, more interested in the auto tint shop and gas station than wherever they were heading. i marveled at the innocence of my own childhood, at the memory of climbing onto the school bus after the peach blossom festival in fresno with my classmates, having dutifully recited our christmas song or poem or whatever our teachers had plugged into our minds. i must have taken a seat near the rear, because i remember hearing excited chattering and giggles and turning to see a handful of boys gesturing and craning at the back windows. someone whispered in my ear, there's a condom on the ground. i joined the group and peered through the scratched glass, my eyes roving the asphalt for what i knew only as one of those mystical, recondite items associated with sex. where? i asked frantically, afraid the chaperones might conclude their headcount at any moment and signal to the driver to hit the road. there! someone said, pointing gleefully. my heart sank as i swept the pavement, back and forth, registering nothing except a greenish clump of shiny plastic resembling a deflated balloon. the engine roared and grayish smoke hazed my view of the parking lot as the bus pulled away. i laughed along with the other boys, feigning delight in our bawdy discovery. but i knew i had missed it, that i had missed my one chance to see this mysterious object, to finally be in on the joke.
1.20.2011
taut
surf is washing up on the shores of southern california, and i'm stuck in an office building. such is the life of a working stiff. after managing to successfully lock myself out of the apartment yesterday evening, with a good four hours before the girlfriend was due home, i decided to take a little stroll. now, mind you, this is after a solid 45-minute workout and a three-mile run. but heck, i thought, why not kill the time by walking to the beach in santa monica and back. which, if you add in the run, calculates out to 12.5 miles. a bit more than i had anticipated, to be quite honest. i'm paying the price today.
1.14.2011
doldrums
the air in los angeles has been scrubbed clean of late by plenty of rain and a bit of wind. driving along the 10 freeway and gazing north toward the hills and mountains of the san gabriel and santa monica ranges, one can almost imagine the untouched beauty of this place before man descended with asphalt and steel and concrete and plastic. and a few measly strips of sod here and there. of course, there is a beauty to the metropolis as well: the gleaming office towers lit aflame by the setting sun, the streaks of red and green reflecting on rain-soaked streets, etc.
fridays, while certainly welcome at the end of a long week, have a malaise about them, a tendency to let each minute slip away begrudgingly, clinging to every moment until the last gasp of the afternoon gives way to darkness.
fridays, while certainly welcome at the end of a long week, have a malaise about them, a tendency to let each minute slip away begrudgingly, clinging to every moment until the last gasp of the afternoon gives way to darkness.
1.11.2011
shaking things up
got a jolt this morning in westwood; nice little 3.1 quake in the santa monica bay. i didn't feel it at work, but the girlfriend said it felt like someone gave the bed a hard shove.
on an unrelated note, my thoughts are being punctuated by angry chanting and whistles from a crowd of protesters picketing the entrance to my building. not sure who they are protesting, but their signs decry unfair compensation and labor practices. it's a big building (30-something floors) with lots of employers, so it would be helpful if they included a bit more information.
on an unrelated note, my thoughts are being punctuated by angry chanting and whistles from a crowd of protesters picketing the entrance to my building. not sure who they are protesting, but their signs decry unfair compensation and labor practices. it's a big building (30-something floors) with lots of employers, so it would be helpful if they included a bit more information.
1.07.2011
feudin juden
i think two of the aforementioned old jewish guys who ride my commuter bus in the morning might be feuding. where once they sat in scarf-clad tandem and murmured in hebrew (or yiddish?), now they sit at polar opposite, with nary a word passing between.
friday is upon us and it is good to have this week nearly in the bag. it's been such a drag readjusting to the early schedule after two weeks of blessed vacation. work seems to be picking up, and i got to interview a couple of folks yesterday, so i almost feel like i'm back to being a newsman. if only the job came with my previous hours. that is, stumble out of bed at a quarter to 10, roll into the office an hour later, and plug away until the paper is put to bed. with the occasional break for bodyboarding, should the surf be up, of course. ah well, the health insurance, 401k, bigger paycheck, and more vacation time will have to do instead.
friday is upon us and it is good to have this week nearly in the bag. it's been such a drag readjusting to the early schedule after two weeks of blessed vacation. work seems to be picking up, and i got to interview a couple of folks yesterday, so i almost feel like i'm back to being a newsman. if only the job came with my previous hours. that is, stumble out of bed at a quarter to 10, roll into the office an hour later, and plug away until the paper is put to bed. with the occasional break for bodyboarding, should the surf be up, of course. ah well, the health insurance, 401k, bigger paycheck, and more vacation time will have to do instead.
1.05.2011
spare the air
its as if one of the old guys who hops aboard my commuter bus at santa monica boulevard every morning takes a quick rinse in aqua velva before heading out for the day. can barely breathe between the cologne fumes and the blasting heater that roars like some incontinent beast from the rear of the cabin. might be worth it to cave and find a monthly parking lot around the office. but that would be bad for the environment, and at least this way i'm not shelling out for gas and repairs from wear-and-tear. plus my employer graciously chips in on public transit expenses. maybe i can convince the dude to tone down his aromatics.
1.04.2011
here comes the sun
the warmth returneth. after one of the wettest decembers on record, we're finally back to that good ol' southern california climate. now is it too much to ask for a decent wave or two? looking forward to the next few weekends; my brother visiting and then back to fresno for a belated family christmas celebration. i'm glad to spread the gift-buying pain out a bit, though, especially with the transition to a new job and some delayed moving expenses. still lots to do on the new apartment, so there will be plenty to spend all this new cash on in the coming months.
dragging this morning. its a cliche, sure, but somehow i don't really feel alive until i have gulped down that first mug of coffee and spent a few minutes scanning the los angeles times site. after my body readjusts its internal clock to rising in the wee hours of the morning -- rather than, say, an hour with more than one digit, as was the case through much of my winter break -- i'll try to squeeze in a quick run before work. might need to pick up a few long-sleeve shirts and some workout pants though. bit too chilly these days for anything less.
dragging this morning. its a cliche, sure, but somehow i don't really feel alive until i have gulped down that first mug of coffee and spent a few minutes scanning the los angeles times site. after my body readjusts its internal clock to rising in the wee hours of the morning -- rather than, say, an hour with more than one digit, as was the case through much of my winter break -- i'll try to squeeze in a quick run before work. might need to pick up a few long-sleeve shirts and some workout pants though. bit too chilly these days for anything less.
1.03.2011
mmxi
starting out the new year with freezing feet in this downtown los angeles office building. better than sweating feet, i suppose, mostly for the sake of those around when said feet are pulled from their shoes and socks at the end of the day. rain appears to be clearing up, with the clouds slowly splitting into a patchwork of blue and white. here's hoping for some swell this weekend, although given the winter season thus far, there isn't much hope to be had.
the new job is trucking along. that is, plodding, really. slow days of late, but i'm expecting that all my efforts to stir up work are going to backfire when all that work finally comes crashing down. i'm giving this whole "posting on my blog" thing another try, but given my track record, don't expect much. i was almost surprised to find it just sitting here, unchanged since i left it. isn't blogging an outdated form of expression by now? sheesh.
the new job is trucking along. that is, plodding, really. slow days of late, but i'm expecting that all my efforts to stir up work are going to backfire when all that work finally comes crashing down. i'm giving this whole "posting on my blog" thing another try, but given my track record, don't expect much. i was almost surprised to find it just sitting here, unchanged since i left it. isn't blogging an outdated form of expression by now? sheesh.
rain brain
it's surprising how many people drive without lights during a rainstorm in los angeles. for all the drivers who flipped on their headlights in a show of responsibility, it seems as if half of those behind the wheel rolled out of bed with a death wish, choosing to hurtle along the freeway as a dark, oblivious missile barely visible to those around.
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