Orange Vests

at the intersection of 34th st. and mcclintock on campus there is a crossing guard nazi. there are other crossing guards that rotate through the area as well, but none of them take their job as seriously as the crossing guard nazi. those of you who have experienced the crossing guard nazi know what i'm talking about. "hold on the corners! stay between the crosswalk lines! get off your bike! no bikes on the sidewalk! walk your bike through the intersection! i'm going to eat your baby if you don't keep your stroller in the crosswalk! i saw your wheel cross that line, i'm afraid you're going to need to hand over your baby. ma'am, the child, please. i'm just doing my job. NOW!" okay, maybe not that last part, but i'm pretty sure she's yelling it in her head. and now i have nightmares about orange vests.