Vice

ah, here we are, once again arriving at a holiday that for many has been divested of its inceptive import, persisting only as a pretext for wholesale consumption of inebriants. i levy no castigation, of course, on these poor souls, who yearn for nothing but the stuporous emancipation from their servile existence via dipsomaniacal saturation. it is, after all, our most societally admissible transgression.

i've always had a problem with the "save water, drink beer" maxim. most beer consists of around 90% water, with some varieties even approaching 97% water content. by drinking beer, not only are we still consuming water, and consequently not "saving" it, but the dehydrating effect of imbibing the fermented beverage elicits even more water intake. if the true goal is water conservation, supplanting beer as a source of liquid nourishment is quite obviously a step in the wrong direction.