Cut a Hole in a Box

not much to relay from my post here in central california. plenty of russian footsoldiers have met their death under the guidance of my steady n64 trigger hand. i'm still dealing with this cold, which refuses to be shaken. that run at 6 am in 30 degree weather probably didn't help much. still waiting on grades and pissed that my financial aid won't reach me in time to pay january rent. but that's to be expected. heaven forbid bureaucratic matters go smoothly in my life.

check out snl's latest digital short, it's pretty good. youtube search for justin timberlake/snl christmas box should do it. i'd link it, but i'm lazy.

Constructive Criticism

spent 20 minutes using adhesive glue to fasten a sheet of plastic to the wall. spent the next hour trying to get the glue off my fingers. still not all gone. looks like the guitar is going away for a while.

Layover

well, here i am in lovely fresno with a nasty head cold while my girlfriend sits in an expansive and frigid london airport where i wish i could be despite my warm waiting bed, and all i can think about is some cockney wanker chumming up with phrases like bloody 'ell and it's a right shithole that is, and the thing is, i'm not the jealous type, and don't get me wrong, i love a few weeks off from thinking and being around lots of people and other social interactions that result in nothing more than, to quote baumbach, conversational blueballs, but i can't help thinking that if i were in london right now i'd be eating terrible food and drinking decent beer and galavanting about with a clear head and only a bit of a runny nose, and despite the cold and the exhaustion and the locals giving us the fuck off tourist stare, i'd be doing something that i'd never done before and i could be proud of that even if my bank account was empty.

Homecoming

back home. and sick. typical. so the five hour bus/train ride was a lot of fun with thundering sinus pain. especially going through the grapevine. it's supposed to rain tomorrow afternoon, so that should be nice. i foresee lots of sleeping and doing nothing in my future.

so my first full day back, and what do i do? totally fry my mom's tea kettle. filled it with water and put it on the stove. by the time i remembered, the water had evaporated and it had started to melt onto the stove element. so i know what i'm getting her for christmas. it might have to be an early gift though, because i need some tea.

well, my body is aching and my head feels like a balloon, so i'm going to find something that will knock me out for a while. happy freaking holidays.

Traveled Road

i am very close to being done with this semester. i just need to make a few minor tweaks on my magazine story and send it off. amazing.

i was sitting in the window of a restaurant on figueroa last night as the rain poured down. in the street the wind was gusting south to north, and brown tree leaves were dancing and crashing along the dark, glistening road. it almost felt like a scene out of a robert frost poem, if it weren't for the traffic rushing by and the bright neon lights of the fast-food joints and liquor stores.

Third Down

alright! one final down, two final projects to go. which are not due until sunday and monday. meaning...it's time to do what comes before part b.

Ummm

well, here i am. waiting around for finals. one actual final, two projects. and procrastinating. not doing much of anything actually. holy crap. i need to do something.

Whistling Causes Madness

classes are officially over. the finals stretch (i know, very bad, sorry). not a great weekend for usc sports. well, our amazing run could only last so long.

i've got things to do. projects. phone calls. emails. teeth brushings. work. catch you guys again in some down time.

Empyrean Sinuations

as i was walking across campus, delivering professor evaluations to the appropriate authorities, a string of red balloons caught my eye as it floated from behind a row of trees along trousdale. it rippled like a mellifluous serpent, writhing gently in the chilly afternoon air. i wonder if someone let it go, or if it escaped its earthly tether to rise skyward as though a serendipitous metaphor for my soaring aspirations in this, my last semester at 'sc.

End of the Beginning

as you may or may not have noticed, skp magazine is gone. probably never to return again. yes, i'm lazy and uncreative and unmotivated. and it was sad to see it just sit there collecting dust, new material coming after longer and longer intervals. i'm just trying to keep this one alive. my creative impulses may manifest themselves in a new form in the coming months, but for now it's down to the old insular jot.

i may be getting a paid gig at the los angeles times next semester. nothing important or worthwhile, for those getting all giggly and excited. news clerk. management speak for glorified coffee bitch. i'm supposed to talk with someone and come in for an interview and a tour of the newsroom (like i didn't see it during my time at west, which was on my resume, which is how i came to be considered for the position in the first place). so we'll see how my schedule next semester gels with what they are looking for in a strapping young man needed to lift heavy objects and mop the brows of furiously typing metro writers.

it's been getting a bit nippy in the evenings around here, which is great, because i can actually drink coffee without dying of heat exhaustion. and i can wear warm clothes. i seem to have a problem regulating my body temperature. constantly hot. wonder if that's related to good looks. (here's where you insert lame quip about my ugliness relating to my inability to control my temperature).

one more football game. the big bad ucla bruins (oh man, i kill myself sometimes). should be a fun little weekend. classes, done. work, done. thinking, done. well. except for a few pockets of studying for finals. so less thinking, more drinking may become a recurring theme in the coming weeks. half-kidding, of course.

All Over Town

my last home game. it was all i hoped it would be. a crushing defeat of a bitter rival. in my four years at usc, i have never witnessed a defeat at the coliseum, or in person. only three losses. it's pretty impressive. now to see if we can make it three out of four in national championships. few will be able to say that. i doubt i'll return for many games, if any. it won't be the same, not being in the student section, standing the whole game and screaming fanatically. it's been a good run, and i'm glad i was a part of it.

i spent part of this afternoon roaming around campus measuring bathrooms for disability access compliance. yea, loads of fun. so far, most of them are complying. the only major problems have been a lack of insulation on the pipes under the sinks and mirrors that are too high. forshame, usc, forshame.

one week of classes left. yes, quite frightening. and i have my first final on tuesday. guitar, should be a breeze. then a redrafting of my magazine story, a write-up of my disability access investigation, and a cinema class final. then i'm done. and it's christmas. all over. again.

Gramercy Bequeathment

you must feel so neglected. lost in the world without my pearls of wisdom. starved for my ego-gratifying sojourns into the swirling chaos of my day-to-day life. i seem to have forgotten about you for a few days. you were lost in the midst of the cal football game, a magazine story deadline, and the commonplace minutaie that keeps me from my computer and out of the blogging state of mind.

i'll be traveling via rail to the heart of the central valley early wednesday morning, hoping for thick, blanketing fog. i'll be returning to the city of angels on friday, so grab a hold of me while i'm available. for a limited time. happy turkey day and beat...the irish!

Kick Up the Dust

i need to find a way to convert ruckus media files to something i can burn onto a cd. so much good stuff!

got a big weekend coming up. waterpolo versus cal, #1 against #2, should be intense. then football against cal, for the pac-10 title and to keep the national championship hopes alive. then either a celebration party or a drink-to-drown-the-sorrow party.

i only have one final during finals week. the rest are during the last week of class. is that a blessing, or a curse? i haven't decided yet.

Wishtful Thinking

my voice is fading fast. great game. a glimmer of our '03 and '04 selves. gotta keep it rolling next week against cal.

tomorrow it's buckle-down-and-do-some-work time. (right...)

Hustled

my girlfriend is a pool shark.

Sticks in Sunless Nether Regions

two letters that appeared in the daily trojan today:

I am shocked to see that the Daily Trojan is publishing an article about a gay student as if he's a role model. ("MBA student vies for Mr. Gay International," Oct. 26) Ashley Archibald should apologize for writing such filth. Homosexuality is immoral. I don't care how buff he is or how smart he is. That young man's lifestyle is sinful, unhealthy and unnatural. You all should write about our young men and women in uniform who are studying among us. They're the ROTC, and they're going to risk their lives for your freedom in a couple years.

David E. Engel
junior, political science

The Gay International competition is just another tool in the radical homosexual movement to normalize and validate their perverse, immoral lifestyle. I'm shocked to read about such a competition. And I thought swimsuit competitions were for females, not males? The homosexual movement will stop at nothing to promote its unnatural lifestyle choice in society. Homosexuality is detestable in the eyes of the Lord (Leviticus 18:22). I don't support this competition and think it is shameful. Americans need to take a stand before all of our traditions and institutions are overtaken and destroyed by the homosexual movement.

Crystal Chavez
senior, business administration

why am i not surprised that they are majoring in political science and business administration? these are the people that want to run our country. sick. way to stick up for women's rights and fight that double standard with that swimsuit comment, crystal. and exactly what institutions are being overtaken and/or destroyed? and are they worth saving? this '50s mentality is getting old. literally.

Lame Ducks

we started playing all these seventh chords in my guitar class. like a minor7 b5. yea, fun! seventh chords are the new barre chords. i feel just as frustrated and annoyed as i did when i tried that fifth string root b flat chord. hopefully it's the same sort of learning curve. (fingers crossed...and twisted and contorted, trying to figure these things out).

late late late game on saturday. time for a duck hunt. yeeeehaaaw.

Down Goes Donny

the rumster hits the dumpster. pretty damn good week we're having here. first we replace a bit of evil incarnate with a bit of evil semi-incarnate in d.c., and now this. could be cause for celebration.

Apoplectic is a Good Word

sometimes, when i see people riding their bikes with no hands, i want to ride up next to them and say, oh, we're all very impressed.

KitKat Attack

hoowee, it was hot today. the santa anas are kicking in big time. naturally, conquest can't open the fully completed and operational pool and spa area because they haven't finished construction on the locker room area. surprised? don't be.

please, people. get your halloween candy leftovers away from me. every office i go into, not to mention the one where i work, is stocked for a candy apocalypse. and i have no willpower.

bbq tonight. i think. depends whether i feel like biking to ralphs for supplies or not. as hot as it gets during the day, the temperature plummets as soon as the sun dips below the western horizon.

The Raven

i slept for over 13 hours last night. and i had a number of crazy dreams. which i naturally forgot. now all i have is two hours and 45 minutes of work stretching out in front of me. then it's off to work on my magazine story and maybe a little job at the track. the perfect monday.

vote vote vote vote vote. as patton oswalt wisely did quoth in 2004, 'all of you out there that say, 'oh they're both evil, it doesn't matter,' not this time, not this fuckin' time.' and as zach galifianakis did quoth in 2004, 'the only time it's okay to say 'i have diarrhea,' is when you're playing scrabble, because it's worth a shitload of points.'

Not So Mellow Yellow

time is seeming to stand still and zoom by at the same time. a little freaky. i need to finish a confederacy of dunces. i need to make some steamed rice also. and other things. time to get to work.

denis leary is an angry man.

Dismissed

waaaah! i'm so sorry i haven't been posting. i'm lazy. i'm stupid. i'm not worthy. wait a second. why am i apologizing? you guys should be happy with what you get. damn! alright. so here's the deal. i have two major projects in the works, and they are both weighing heavily on my creativity stores. i'm going to try to set aside some time every now and then for a little blogger release, but i can't promise anything. so relax.

i'm working on the physics newsletter again. very excited. actually, the issue is almost done. i have one or two more stories to write up and a little layout adjusting and it should be good to go.

the steel strings on winter are still painful. owie. i'm thinking i'll be spending a little more time on sera's slinky strings. so much easier on the ol' phalanges.

Please Don't Drag Me Down

argh, i hate transcribing. i have over an hour and a half. i've spent 45 minutes and have only finished a little over 16 minutes. you do the math. because my brain hurts too much.

i have a feeling my posting is going to continue to lag as i enter the job/internship scramble as well as the end of the semester, which is frighteningly close already. i don't have any time to develop senioritis, it's all going by so fast.

i suppose i have to say something about the football game this past weekend. we had been tempting fate for quite a while, so it came as only a small surprise when we lost. i expected it against oregon or cal. hopefully it will be a bit of a wakeup call.

meanwhile, the waterpolo team continues its incredible tear through the pac 10 and elsewhere. a win over uc irvine on saturday made it 37 in a row. of course, it's never a big topic of conversation on campus, or on the sports page of the daily trojan.

Short and Sour

i'm slowly and quietly running out of things to say. i'll be in fresno this weekend. hoo-rah. give me a call if you are in the 'no.

Shut Mouth, Open Mind

somewhere, deep in the murky recesses of my mind, lurks a great fear. a fear of my obligations. a fear of the magazine story yet to be reported and written. a fear of the investigation into disabled accessibility on campus yet to be investigated and compiled. a fear of the internship application sitting untouched on the desktop. a fear of the journalism job fair on thursday, where rows upon rows of confident recruiters wait to weed through the latest crop. a fear of commitment, responsibility, adulthood, maturity, growth, change. i'm scared shitless and wouldn't have it any other way.

saw ralph nader speak for 45 minutes before i had to race off to my investigative reporting class this evening. great stuff about not wasting our twenties (age, not money, but both seem relevant to his discussion). highlights:

-we are a generation of screen-watchers. televisions, cellphones, palm pilots, mp3 players. (computers...a screen you are watching right now.) it's all passive.

-we tend to cling to the same words and repeat them over and over again. like, like, like, like, like. vocabularies are shrinking with every generation.

-an ancient chinese proverb: to know and not to act is not to know. do something now or we will become spectators in the decline of the world. and the world is declining.

Golden the Pony Boy

yesterday: breakfast with mom, triple-overtime-sudden-death-winning-goal waterpolo game against ucla, lunch with mom and stefi, swimming in tuscany pool which may or may not be allowed yet, dinner at toi on sunset, brief game of chandelier at magnolia, brief visit to toga party sans toga, science of sleep at flagship, sleepover. today: more sleep, guitar, wee bit o' homework, muckin' about.

i can't understand you guys when you talk to me in two different languages. i feel schizometric...schizo...

Grip

things are still rolling along here. feeling that creepy creepy dread of next summer already, when i'll have to stop screwing around and get a real job. i don't want to harp on it too long, but aaaaahhhhh! okay. done with that. i feel like a million things are happening all at once for some reason and i can't seem to get a good grasp on any of them. i've got a three-finger, death-clench, hanging-on-for-dear-life kinda thing going on. any advice?

Sentimental Central

i just realized this blog has been alive for nearly a year now. of course, my first post was on october 30th, so i have 14 days before i can officially celebrate. but we've have some good times, you and i, haven't we? we've laughed, we've cried, we've sung kumbaya around a glowing campfire. okay, so maybe not that last one. but i was singing it in my head every time i sent another random thought zipping out across the blogosphere. thanks are in order for all those who stood by me, through the terrible blogger crash of february '06 and the internet-less days of the summer. i couldn't - gasp - have done it - choke - without you.

Good Vibrations

doing good has never been so easy. click the orange button and feed the hungry!

also, do good by doing well. subscribe to good!

Specific Details

i feel like these general sort of updates on my life are rather boring. they seem that way to me anyway. so i'm going to put a very specific something in this post. i haven't figured out what it will be yet. maybe the fact that i had rice and beans, microwaved in a bowl and sprinkled with salt, pepper and cayenne, for dinner. no, that's quite mundane. even less interesting than my usual blathering. maybe my conquest over one of nigel tufnel's spinal tap riffs. no, that would just be me trying to brag about my guitar playing as a ploy for appreciation and acceptance. aha. i saw two guys at the track today, throwing a football back and forth. i was performing a moderate calisthenics workout on the artificial turf, well within earshot of the pair. one had muscular arms and a sure throw. he constantly berated the other fellow for dropping the ball or lobbing a poor, wobbly pass back. i was quite entertained, despite some mild, nagging feelings of sympathy for the lesser-skilled of the aforementioned pair.

One TD Wins

another close one. not quite as bad as the last few weeks. still, could use a little explosive offense. and apparently my roommate and i were in a crowd-shot on abc, so that is cool, i guess. now i need to hunt down some food before i pass out.

Mild Case of Elleus

guinness draught, drizzly rain and sun, barbeque, cool breeze. perfec'. bit of a busy weekend ahead. football game tomorrow, of course. maybe a little of the socal waterpolo tournament. women's soccer vs. ucla on sunday. magazine rewrite. investigative story pitches. figuring out what to do with life.

i need to get some harp's. i totally forgot about my plan to make black and tans. major disappointment. back to ralph's, i think. leave me some love.

Hearts and Minds

from here:

A team of American and Iraqi epidemiologists estimates that 655,000 more people have died in Iraq since coalition forces arrived in March 2003 than would have died if the invasion had not occurred.

mission accomplished?

Quickie

the world seems to be spinning on its axis rather well lately. a good vision for my magazine piece re-write, an aced guitar midterm, a few good investigative story ideas, and a great idea for my next magazine piece. seethe with jealousy. go ahead. now if i could just get some sleep...

Laws Rule

my investigative reporting assigment: go to a restaurant of my choice and ask to see the latest health inspection report. take notes and write up a one-page memo. my restaurant of choice: panda express on figueroa. i entered the establishment and proceeded to the cashier. i would like to see your latest public health inspection report please, i said to the woman behind the counter. oh, um. we don't have any, she replied. you don't have your public health inspection report? is there a manager i can talk with? i asked back. hold on, she said. another woman approached me. what do you need? she asked. i'd like to look at your latest public health inspection report, i said. we don't let people see that, she said. well, by law you are obligated to present it upon request, i returned. i've worked here for five years and we've never done anything like that. i've never heard of that, she said. look, i'm not trying to get you in trouble. i simply want to examine your health inspection report, a right i am afforded by law, i said. well, you can call the corporate office and talk to them about it, she shot back. all i need to do is look at it for five minutes. i'll look at it and give it right back. no one will even know you gave it to me, i replied. sigh. hold on. and she retrieved it for me. ha. i win. my powers of persuasion grow with every passing day.

The Rundown

ah, it's been a busy few days. not really, but it makes me feel better to say that, since i haven't posted much around here for a while. i could recap. do you want that? i'll do it really fast:

last advisement of my college career on thursday. saw first quarter of waterpolo game vs. santa barbara friday afternoon. went to see the departed friday evening (good, see it if you can). went to run lola run at midnight friday. stayed up all night. went to football game vs. washington at 10 saturday. almost had heart attack. stayed up until 11:30 for no apparent reason. slept until 12:30 today. swam and lifted weights. purchased groceries at ralph's. made tortilla chips. ate them. watched seinfeld. did magazine non-fiction homework assignment. started writing this post. finished writing this post and posted it.

Goin' Down, Down

from here:

For the first time since 2001, the NEWSWEEK poll shows that more Americans trust the Democrats than the GOP on moral values and the war on terror. Fully 53 percent of Americans want the Democrats to win control of Congress next month, including 10 percent of Republicans, compared to just 35 percent who want the GOP to retain power. If the election were held today, 51 percent of likely voters would vote for the Democrat in their district versus 39 percent who would vote for the Republican. And while the race is closer among male voters (46 percent for the Democrats vs. 42 percent for the Republicans), the Democrats lead among women voters 56 to 34 percent.

'bout freakin' time. and just in time. save us this november, fellow americans.

Too Lazy to Think of Good Title

hrrm. been a long day and it's only 2:15. i was really dragging this morning, due to minimal sleep, but i managed to drag myself into the pool and that sort of gave me a jump start somehow. now i'm just trying to last until 5. then i'm going home, throwing together some burritos or something and collapsing on the couch. and maybe drinking lots of coffee.

i've got a possible idea for my investigative reporting piece. cops handing out tickets to students riding their bikes at night without lights. they've never done it before. there is no way they can possibly catch everyone. who are they stopping? why are they stopping them? was this an order from higher up? trying to get more tickets issued? they did this last year with riding bikes against traffic up jefferson. lasted a few weeks and stopped. aren't there more important things they should be focusing on?

dependable renegade has had some great stuff up lately about exfoleyation, or pervgate as i like to call it. check it out. link on the right --->

brewing up something tasty for skp. if i have the willpower, i may get it up tonight (no pun intended, sickos).

As A Bee

ah, well, i had a great weekend. tom petty concert in berkeley. excellent. saturday in santa barbara. excellent. sunday evening wandering and the squid and the whale. excellent. and now it's back to the grind. work and schoolwork. 1,000 words due tomorrow. hour-long conversation to transcribe. guitar to play. books to read. sleep to catch up on. shape to get back into. piles of laundry to wash. rice burritos to make and eat. busy.

Torturiffic

clinton tells it like it is.

Transit Center Redux

saw science of sleep yesterday evening. loved it. nothing more can be said. rode the metro through the beautifully seedy underworld of los angeles with my girl out to laemmle's on sunset (yea, girl, relax, don't get all excited, breathe, move on). not really seedy though. something else. don't want to say impecunious. pseudo-impecunious, maybe, with a dollop of semi-tragic. ended up at the same transit center that my roommate and i were stranded at a few years ago, waiting for a bus that never showed on a late-sunday, early-monday venture to the grove to see sideways. not really a transit center. more a scattered collection of buses in a fenced off parking lot and a few benches under the 10 freeway on fairfax. it would've been absurdly romantic had it been pouring rain, but it was only slightly chilly and an evil poster squirrel ruined the gritty, netherworldly effect.

Flip Flip

i can't stand this. releasing information proving that you are a facist pig, bush, is going to have political motivations behind it. but it still needs to be known. shouldn't the people know that all your bullshit about "making the world a safer place" is, essentially, bullshit? and how are you even dragging clinton into this issue? is he running in '08? did he ignore "bin laden determined to attack within united states?" face it. you're going down. all the buck passing and karl roving in the world can't help you now.

Morning Lament

why do i torture myself by staying up until 2 in the morning, doing absolutely nothing of any consequence?

You Have Derailed

i swear, every time i go into l.a. bicycles, located in the luxurious and swank mecca more commonly known as university village, there is a different person in charge. it might be extended-family-owned and operated. that's my theory anyway. but here's the anecdote that goes along with that random opening thought: as i previously mentioned, my rear derailer came detached from the bike frame, so i took it in for repairs. i expected to be handed a bike-check and told to come back tomorrow sometime to pick it up, but luckily they weren't too busy. one of the guys working in the repair area, who i actually recognized from earlier visits, came out and took a gander. the person in charge had to translate, but the basic gist of what he was saying seemed to be that the hole for the nut that held the derailer to the frame was stripped, and it was unlikely that they would be able to fix it. now, the derailer attaches to the main frame of the bike, which is oddly perplexing. so if that little part goes, the whole frame is useless. which is essentially what was going through my head at that point (i briefly had visions of myself breaking into an auto body shop and spot welding the derailer to the frame). then the guy went in the back and came out with a box of bolts, the first of which he tried worked. $3 for the bolt. out the door. a completely unnecessary amount of stress.

umm, that was longer than i had originally intended, so if you are actually still reading this, i apologize. i get very long-winded about my bicycle adventures, apparently. thanks for sticking through it. i killed time at the bookstore today (after the bike shop trip, which left me with too much time due to the unexpected ease of the transaction) and ended up buying another book. so i'm back to four. better get to work. maybe i'll squeeze in a little homework if i feel like it. we'll see how things progress.

ps. leave a comment if you know to what my post title refers. think of it as a pop culture quiz. and no cheating with google.

Song About a Broken Bike

i knocked out one of those books i mentioned a few posts back. now i have 'a heartbreaking work of staggering genius,' 'conversations with tom petty,' and 'the children's hospital.' i think that may also be the order in which i'm reading them.

my bike fell apart on friday. i was riding it home and at the corner of expo and fig, the rear derailer fell off of the frame. just fell off. so now it's just hanging on the chain. that bike is going to end up costing me at least $400 by the time i get rid of it. and it's hard to decide if it's worth it.

i just returned paul zollo's 'songwriters on songwriting' book to doheny library. it's basically a collection of his interviews with some of the great songwriters. carole king, simon and garfunkel, david crosby, graham nash, etc. etc. i kind of realized that it would be difficult for me to be a songwriter, at least one of any moderate success. i just don't like what i write. it will sound good for a while, and then i can't stand to read it anymore. it just seems so contrived and cliche. maybe i just need some practice.

Thoughts on Thoughts

the concept of free will is a little tricky for me. quantum mechanics tells us that the path and location of electrons are completely unpredictable. so if thought is the exchange of electrons between neurons at synapses in our brain, and that exchange is determined by an unordered system of chaos, how can our decisions, our thoughts, our motor movements, be controlled? what is controlling the uncertain and unknowable movements of these subatomic particles, allowing us to recall past events, access data, to formulate theories or consider questions such as the one i am discussing now? science tells us there must be a practical, a technical solution. what is the sum of the whole? what is the great combining force that can manage such a complex system of firing synapses and unpredictable exchange of electrons?

No Vacancy

i have four new books to read. holy crap. shouldn't i be doing school work? you ask. bah, i say. that's all i got for now. beat the wildcats!

Familial Lingo

things are shaping up. i have a copy editing test on wednesday for a dow jones paid (!!!) internship. which is based in santa cruz. heavenly. i'd prefer san fran, but i think i can settle for the santa cruz area. well, i'm speaking like i already have the position. and do i even want the position? getting ahead of myself as usual. at least i have something going for me in terms of what the hell i'll be doing with myself after i graduate.

i'm at work, and i should be making and posting flyers. but...i'm "hurtin' fer certain," as my dad would say, from a particularly vicious weight workout (the pool is closed, again, for repairs) and wine night at a friend's place. nap time has replaced swim time.

The High Life: It's Willie Time

honestly, so what if willie nelson wants to smoke weed and do shrooms on his tour bus? is that hurting anyone? is the driver baked? no. leave him alone. drug war morons.

(in case you didn't get it, the title of this post is a riff on miller genuine draft's advertising campaign. sorry if this insults your intelligence, but i just can't let a joke get by without recognition...for me...because i'm a raging narcissist).

i just looked at the gum i bought a few days ago. it's a new flavor by orbit called "crystal mint." a little too close to crystal meth, methinks.

The Irony of Tuscany

i find the state of the bike storage areas at my new apartment complex to be quite demonstrative of the mindset of the average american. here's the layout: bike storage area #1, on level 1 of the parking garage. bike storage area #2, on level 2 of the parking garage. here's the current situation: storage #1, crammed with bikes, overflowing into nearby parking stalls, congested, difficult to maneuver through, fallen bikes everywhere. storage #2, virtually empty, 20 or so bikes locked at easily accessible intervals, no hassle getting in or out. the difference: 30 seconds of walking or 10 seconds on the elevator. the moral: americans are lazy fuckwits.

some people who actually take the time to park their bikes on level 2 are still so lazy they don't want to open the door to the storage area to get their bike, so they lock it outside the gate. unbelievable. i just have to laugh when i see people lifting their bikes over their heads and wading their way into the upper storage area as i ride past and cruise into the lower level. un-freakin-believable. and don't even get me started on the trash situation. the trash chute is 25 feet away. piling trash bags in the hallway makes sense, right? or wait, let's spend even more energy and dump our trash into the courtyard. why move into a new place just to trash it? come on, people. what is going through your heads? air?

Dispatch From a Trojan Student

alrighty folks, it's football home game weekend recap time. so sit back, grab your hats, and lets get this road on the show. for those not following the highly controversial and much-discussed student section seating debacle, here is a simple breakdown of what happened: 1. athletic department takes away best student section seats, sells them to alumni, gives endzone bleacher crapland seats to students and band, downsizes student section from 12,000 seats to 8,000 seats, cites highest student attendance figures from last year as 7,500 for ucla game. 2. around 9,000 students arrive for nebraska game, panic ensues, eric gets crushed in angry stampede of drunk, obnoxious guys and bitchy, shrieking girls, hops fence in last-ditch effort to escape death and lands best student seats in the house. 3. students turned away at the ticket entrance, then allowed to stand behind endzone, undoubtedly and rightfully pissed. something needs to be done. and if i don't get tickets to the notre dame home game as a senior, i will be comatose with rage. that is all for now.

Bed Peace

this morning, from 7:12 to 7:43, the fire alarm sounded approximately 38 times. the peals differed in length and timing, so even if they weren't the most hellish, piercing shriek, they would have been fairly impossible to sleep through. this place is cursed. cursed by bad management.

i saw the u.s. vs. john lennon yesterday evening. very enjoyable yet very depressing. because nothing has changed. we still have a criminal president, ordering illegal wiretapping, keeping us in an absurd and attritional war, and calling anyone who is critical of his policies "unpatriotic."

since when is wanting freedom and peace unpatriotic?

Flake

alright! good day. made myself get up early and go lift weights. then worked for a few hours. then did a moderate swim workout. then hit guitar class and learned a wicked strum pattern. bahahaha. it's not over yet, though. still have investigative reporting, in which we will be discussing the question of moral defensibility of journalists betraying or deceiving their interview subjects. i know i'll be glued to my seat!

i got my first issue of good magazine about a week ago. it's pretty sweet, guys. i strongly recommend you check it out. free stickers! and 100% of your subscription goes to the charity of your choice. that's my shameless plug of the day.

Ultimate Disaster

because it's a normal thing to happen, my computer restarted all on its own the other night, right when i was in the middle of listening to a great song, kicking some ass in a fake-money online poker tournament, and playing the endless version of a pirated copy of bejeweled 2. i know, i'm a multi-tasking sonuvabitch. p.s. i logged back in and won the tournament for a grand total of 50 play chips...i think my account balance of play chips is somewhere around 3 million.

Deadication

cheney says:

“I believe in a strong, robust executive authority, and I think that the world we live in demands it,” Mr. Cheney said in December on a flight from Pakistan to Oman. “You know,” he added, “it’s not an accident that we haven’t been hit in four years.”

and what would he say if we were "hit" tomorrow?

"It's these damn liberals and their goddamn visions of 'peace and happiness.' It's not our fault. They keep derailing our plan to kill all the terrorists by killing everyone."

Singin' in the Dead of Night

the world seems to be on it's correct axis. usc waterpolo beat irvine in its season-opener, the weather is nice, and texas lost to ohio state. texas losing anything is a good thing. there's not too much to report. i got a nice wife-beater tanline on my left shoulder/chest after sitting in the sun for the waterpolo game, so that's looking pretty white-trasheriffic. i'm also coming pretty close to conquering blackbird by the beatles, but don't ask me to play it for you, because i'll just screw it up in the face of such pressure to perfom. not a good sign, huh?

The Real Enemy at Home

who, really, are these people? who raised them? wh-wh-why are they doing this? read:

In THE ENEMY AT HOME, bestselling author Dinesh D’Souza makes the startling claim that the 9/11 attacks and other terrorist acts around the world can be directly traced to the ideas and attitudes perpetrated by America’s cultural left.

D’Souza shows that liberals—people like Hillary Clinton, Ted Kennedy, Barney Frank, Bill Moyers, and Michael Moore—are responsible for fostering a culture that angers and repulses not just Muslim countries but also traditional and religious societies around the world. Their outspoken opposition to American foreign policy—including the way the Bush administration is conducting the war on terror—contributes to the growing hostility, encouraging people both at home and abroad to blame America for the problems of the world. He argues that it is not our exercise of freedom that enrages our enemies, but our abuse of that freedom—from the sexual liberty of women to the support of gay marriage, birth control, and no-fault divorce, to the aggressive exportation of our vulgar, licentious popular culture.

The cultural wars at home and the global war on terror are usually viewed as separate problems. In this groundbreaking book, D’Souza shows that they are one and the same. It is only by curtailing the left’s attacks on religion, family, and traditional values that we can persuade moderate Muslims and others around the world to cooperate with us and begin to shun the extremists in their own countries.

It's Alive!

wow. thank fuck. we have internet. and now i have nothing to do online. well, time to piss away a few hours on youtube. but first, i'd like to have a litte congratulatory post, just to revel in the fact that it is now 1 month and 8 days after my apartment should have been completed, and it's finally done...well, except for the missing light fixture in the bathroom. but i'll let that slide for now. and all the retail stores on the first floor. and the pool. and the lounge/study room area. okay, so my apartment is done, i should just be happy with that.

i'm hoping for an increase in posting on this and skp magazine, as i'm sure you are, now that i have my precious gateway to the world back. i'd like not to overwhelm you with the minutiae of my life, so i came up with the idea of a list. everyone likes reading bullets because it doesn't seem like that much reading, right? and if you really want every detail of my life, you can check my mini-news-feed whatever on facebook. actually, they gave us privacy control, so that won't work anymore. haha, stalkers. better luck next time.

1. back in the pool after a 5 day sickness, trying to keep up with this crazy australian girl who keeps kicking my ass and making me look bad.

2. loving my guitar class because it's making me focus on all my weak areas, like finger-picking and 5th string root dominant 7th barre chords.

3. somewhat angry at the stupid people living here who park their bikes like they have diminished mental capacities and dump trash and beer cans all over the place. we're all angry at conquest, and i know the building isn't quite done yet, but making construction crews waste time pulling cardboard boxes and natty ice cans from the courtyard fountains isn't going to get it done any sooner.

4. so pumped that football is starting again, and so pumped that we walked all over arkansas, despite some sports "analysts" who predicted a loss (holtz, go away now, please).

5. looking forward to the first water polo game of the season tomorrow at mcdonald's swim stadium against uc irvine. i know a few guys on the anteater team, and it will be nice to watch them get demolished and humiliated.

more to come soon, because i'm full of creative overflow as a result of only having 3 days of class a week, all after 3 p.m.

Staredown

why do people (mostly girls, not to be sexist, but to be a little sexist) insist on playing chicken with me when i'm on my bike? especially those people standing still? why move back and forth? are you trying to mess with my mind? i'm not going to run into you. just stand there and i'll find a way around. or i'll stop. i'll do anything besides plowing headlong into your chestplate, so please, stop acting as though i'm about to impale you with my handlebar.

on my way to work today, which is where i sit as i write this post, i saw a middle-aged guy walking in front of me. a girl passed in front of him, and he actually stopped, turned and stared fully at her ass for a good three seconds before continuing on his way. no effort to disguise the move. he had to know there were other people around who could witness him doing this. yet, no shame. i don't think i'd ever noticed anything like that before, although i'm sure it's happened. hopefully i wasn't on the staring end.

Night Fever

it's labor day, and unsurprisingly, i still don't have internet at my apartment. my four-day weekend, while the football team's rout of arkansas was exciting, has been pretty much blown by a head cold. pretty typical. it'll probably last through this week. being sick is the worst.

i don't really have much to write about. my brain doesn't feel like working. sorry. try again later.

Kinkade Raid

i always knew this guy was a fraud.

Place Your Bets

the verdict is now quite conflicted. reports of internet at my apartment are flying in from left and right, from next monday at the latest, to next wednesday, to next friday, to god knows when. anyone wanna make a wager on the day i'll have internet access? my guess: when it's most convenient for conquest staff.

Witty Euphemism About Tool Use

there's still hope for prez chimpy.

Doyle's Law

i was just informed that my new apartment will not have ethernet access for another two weeks. so i won't be posting much in the next few weeks. if i were to typographically represent my state of mind, this: @!$%@%$#%!#$@$&@$%&$%*&*# wouldn't even come close. anger.

Long-Awaited Update

this post has been a long time coming. i've been back and forth between downtown and usc, moving things everywhere, going to class, trying to find time to eat and play guitar and read and think. although internet access has been available with relative ease, i haven't found the energy or inspiration to write much. but as this first week of chaos slowly winds down, i thought i'd send a brief message to my many adoring fans (read: 4 or so people who have financial or emotional investments in the day-to-day occurrences of my life).

to put your mind at ease, all is well. the new apartment is approaching some semblance of normalcy. in a few short days, it should be completely settled, everything in its correct place. once my internet is established there, i plan to return to a more consistent schedule of posting on this and my other virtual espousing locale, skp magazine.

for those interested in my classes, they all range from somewhat to very promising from first impressions. magazine non-fiction writing and guitar will be my indisputable favorites. theatrical film symposium will be an enjoyable finish to the week. investigative reporting is a necessary evil, and with the planned slate of guest journalist lecturers, it will hopefully prove itself as, if nothing else, a glimpse into the real world (not the mtv show, but namely adulthood, reality, life, bills, taxes, marriage, kids, house payments, car payments, vacations, relationships, work, retirement, responsibility, etc. -- all of which you will presumably agree, quite readily and without qualm, are not seen in any accurate form of representation on the aforementioned "reality" show).

Tab Wars

not only are they liars:

Mr. Keiser, of the Music Publishers’ Association, estimated that, including overhead costs, tablature could cost about $800 per song to produce, license and format for downloading.

but they are greedy assholes as well:

In the last few months, trade groups representing music publishers have used the threat of copyright lawsuits to shut down guitar tablature sites, where users exchange tips on how to play songs like “Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door,” “Highway to Hell” and thousands of others.

i don't hear any of the songwriters complaining. the article cites mike happoldt of sublime, who says he doesn't care about tab sites and that publishers are just greedy bastards (okay, so i added the bastard part). how many people buy sheet music to begin with? just charge a nominal access fee and post the correct tabs to the songs. we'll appreciate it because we won't have to sift through the absolute crap out there right now, and you can reach your precious profit margins. and finally, $800 to format and post a song tab online? please. that is the biggest line of crap i've ever heard.

read the whole story here.

Westin Checkin

i've checked into my room at the westin bonaventure, and i'm not as disappointed anymore. it's a decent room, pretty nice hotel. i wouldn't mind it at all if it weren't for the fact that i'm 4 miles from usc now and i have to move again in a week. oh well. and we don't get hbo. how sad is that? every freakin' hotel has hbo. not this one. typical. stay tuned for further updates on my living arrangements.

Move #4

i'm back in los angeles. i'll be moving into the westin bonaventure hotel downtown. for "a week at the most." i've resigned myself to the fact that conquest is going to constantly let me down and dick me around. it doesn't even surprise me anymore.

i should have internet in the hotel room, so i may be posting more in the near future.

Break Down

hey guys. i've been taking a little vacation before classes start up again. and i haven't felt the urge to struggle with dial-up internet, so i haven't been posting much. or at all. but in a few days, after i move into the new place, i should be up and running again. take it easy until then.

Fresno Post

hey all. i'm back in fresno for a last-minute vacation before classes start up again. i'll be heading over to the coast (thankfully) for the weekend, then hanging around this exciting place for a few days before heading back to los angeles. i'll try to contain myself. nah, it's actually nice to be home. relaxing. well, i'm off to enjoy the last week of true freedom in my adult life. feel free to offer your condolences.

Bottom of the Birdcage

great article about the crappy journalism being practiced everywhere. i can only pray that i won't end up at a place like that.

Plzen or Bust

this article from the nytimes makes me want to go to the czech republic. a lot. really really badly. someone buy me a plane ticket. right now. go on expedia. do it.

this week is officially the last week of summer work. i'll be done at the la times tomorrow, although they are "keeping me at the top of the list" for any big projects they need help with in the future. and this friday i'll be done at the business school. so it's back to the physics department, probably five days a week, hopefully near 20 hours a week. score.

Fehr 'n Bahlunced Reeportin'

i guess it's hard to convince yourself as an editor to run a story when everyone is so used to the subject matter.

You Don't Have to be a Hot Dog

there's a guy named john dardenne. i had writing 340 with him last semester, or the semester before that, i can't recall. i ran into him last weekend during a drunken rampage down 30th street. he's a stand-up comedian. visit his blog and check out his hot dog public service announcement. i highly recommend it.

Premature Daylight Savings Time

here's what happens. it's late at night. i'm going to bed. i take my contacts out, arrange my covers, and adjust the air conditioner. i climb into bed, sit up and set my alarm clock. now, for some reason, as i'm adjusting the "hour" setting of my alarm, the time setting also jumps ahead one hour. naturally, i didn't notice it. so i get up this morning, shower, dress, bike downtown, sit at my computer, and then notice the time. yea, so i'm an hour early. and i lost an hour of sleep. great.

on a good note, i did get a lot of time to browse through the blogosphere and catch that little item i posted earlier. which brings us back to a bad note. jackass.

i'm going to fix me a nice bowl of steamed rice, randomly flip to a page in my dvd case, and watch whatever movie my finger lands on. after that, i'll probably go to sleep so i can manage to drag myself out of bed tomorrow for a swim. and i'll doublecheck my alarm clock. triplecheck.

Ad Nauseam

bush, about sectarian violence in iraq, from here:

"You know, I hear people say, Well, civil war this, civil war that. The Iraqi people decided against civil war when they went to the ballot box."

he says civil war, schmival war. hundreds of iraqis die daily. your call.

Shake and Bake

i am destroyed. so tired and sore. maybe i should've worked my way back up to 6,500 meter workouts. that might have been a good idea, in retrospect. aaarrrgh.

i saw an advance screening of talladega nights with the roommies on tuesday. it was pretty enjoyable. i wouldn't pay $12.50 to see it. but then again, there aren't many movies i would pay that to see. plus i was running on 30 minutes of sleep from the night before, so i think my perspective might have been a little skewed.

Department of Redundancy Department

okay, so i was watching one of those "extreme police chases 4" shows (yea yea, i was bored). anyway, the voiceover guy was hilarious, as usual. he actually said at one point, and i quote, "the would-be robbers then threw a sack of money they had illegally stolen from a bank earlier that day out the window." that's right. illegally stolen. as opposed to the money they legally stole last week. brilliant. cheers to that moment, which absolutely made my day.

Copies, Coffee and Mail

well, as i predicted, i didn't make it up this morning. but i am doing laundry right now...so...that totally makes up for it, right? yea, i'm going to hit the pool and the gym hard tomorrow. get off my back.

it looks like next week is my last week of work at the business school. then i'm on a week-long vacation, and then it's back to the grind. i'll be back at the physics department, which should be fun. i'll probably have to train in some newbies. and it will be interesting to see what it feels like to be a big, bad senior. probably like every other year. yep. two more weeks. here we go.

Internal Debate

it's nearly midnight, and i'm debating the likelihood that i will manage to get up tomorrow morning for a swim before work. i'm thinking there's a .04 percent chance i'll make it. i'll let you know tomorrow. cheers.

The Brentmeister General

i'm just re-watching the office (bbc version of course). david brent is so ridiculously frustrating and unbelievable. it's almost masochistic to keep watching it. but i will continue in the name of humor. signing off for the night.

Post Hoc Ergo Propter Hoc

nice logical fallacy, matthews.

Absolutely Priceless

about why "everyone in iraq and the middle east hates us," by ohio rep. jean schmidt, from here:

"The United States is the kindest, most generous country to ever exist on this planet."

"The United States is not just another country to them, we are utopia."

"We simply ignored the screams of his victims in exchange for regular trade or some such thing."

"It is easy to understand that when you know your liberator and he does not come, it must mean he doesn't care. Hearts begin to fill with hate. Evil takes root."

"The Iraqi's perception is that we are all powerful. We watch them from space with technology they cannot even imagine. Surely if we wanted to turn on his electricity we could do so. He has no idea how large the problem is but he knows we can do anything. He was angry. Eventually his air conditioning began running and his anger cooled."

Even Walls Fall Down

just moved into the new digs. after the initial apprehension at the astounding amount of crap we have and the seemingly shrinking size of the studio apartment, it's turned out pretty nice. if i didn't have to move again in 18 days, i'd probably be pretty happy. but it's nice enough so i'm happy for now, and that's what counts. plus the ac.

i went on tom petty's official messageboard and it was a godsend. people actually posting accurate tabs of how petty plays his songs. it was amazing. i had always attributed the bland sound of my attempts at tom's music to my mediocre guitar skills. now, if i may say so, i'm a goddamn rock god. well, higher than a rock plebe, if nothing else.

three weeks until the start of the last year! woohoo!

Right on the Money

from here. click to make it bigger!

Another Bush Translation

bush: we're gonna spread democracy and peace if we have to fascistly kill every person in the middle east.

Rockristocracy

the packing began today. actually, most of it is done. i'm looking forward to getting outta here. it's had its moments, but for the most part, it's just going to be the interim apartment with no ac, no screens on the windows, a crappy deadbolt, paint on the toilet seat, and a minor ant invasion.

it's incredible how fast this vacation is flying by. in three weeks, i'll be back in class. it's a little surreal. i'm not going to get all sentimental. but i remember when i was a little kid, thinking about college and how far off it seemed. now it's almost over. strange.

Twenty-Two Percent

from over on horse's mouth, part of a nytimes poll:

How do you think the war with Iraq is affecting the United States' image in the world? Is the war making the U.S. image in the world better, making it worse, or is the war having no effect on the U.S. image in the world?

Better: 10
Worse: 72
No effect: 12

who are the people in the 10 percent that think what we're doing in iraq is actually raising our global esteem? wtf!? and who are the people who think the rest of the world is apathetic to this whole situation? wowzah.

Game Over

lie-berman about his withering campaign hopes:

"I want to assure you that I'm not surprised that I am in a fight for the Democratic nomination," he said. "I always expected that I would have a primary challenge based on Iraq. I was hoping that God would send me a poor challenger. I am being tested with a rich challenger."

yes. god is testing you. that must be it. who in connecticut is still planning on voting for this guy?

Circumstance

i
am
not
very
adept
at this
pseudo-
intellectual,
word-triangle
building nonsense.

as you can see...it's a slow saturday. i went to the bike shop to get a flat fixed. my plan was to walk my bike to the shop, get the fix, then head over to the pool for a quick dip. objective one was completed without a hitch. i arrived at lyons center and started changing into my suits. except i didn't have my suits. they were still hanging on my desk, where i left them to dry the last time i went to the pool. so i threw my shoes back on and started back home, with the intention of picking up my suits, making a quick pitstop in the kitchen for some agua fria, and returning to the pool. fortunately and unfortunately, as i passed the pool, i saw that it was closed for a waterpolo game. of course, there were no signs at the front desk of the lyons center. that would just be too convenient. so on the one hand, i was lucky that i forgot my suits and didn't walk out on the deck and have the whole crowd be like, 'look at this guy, doesn't even know the pool is closed, doesn't know what he's doing in life. what a goober.' and i'm also lucky that i saw that the pool was closed, because i would've been super-mega-pissed if i went all the way back home, got my suits, returned to the pool, and walked out on the deck to have the whole crowd be like, 'look at this guy, doesn't even know the pool is closed, doesn't know what he's doing in life. what a goober.' on the other hand, i want to swim, so i can't find much consolation in the fact that a crowd of strangers didn't get the chance to point out what a goober i am to their friends. i mean, that happens pretty much every day, so one less goober incident isn't going to take away the sting of not being able to work out.

Stage 21

he's already been judged, but i figured i'd throw my two cents in. landis is, in my opinion, innocent until proven guilty. my theory on the high level of testosterone in his stage 17 sample? it's due to his enormous balls. that guy is one tough mother. still innocent in my mind.

Moving On Up

apparently i got a raise and didn't even know it. my boss's assistant came up to me yesterday and told me that she submitted my salary increase and it should be reflected on the next paycheck. i was like, whahahat? apparently when my boss took the office staff out to lunch last thursday, she told me she was giving me a raise. i must not have even heard her. i should probably thank her though...

the next move is rapidly approaching. sarcastic yay! the move to storage begins tomorrow, the move to the studio begins monday/tuesday, depending when conquest decides to give us access to the apartment, which isn't currently being used. so naturally it makes sense to wait until the exact day they told us we could have it to give us the keys. it would be madness to let us move in the night before, madness i tell you!

Ad Slogan for Republican Leadership

getting fucked over by laws you wrote years ago? just change 'em again!

Milestone

this guy is clearly a nutjob. and that concludes post #200 on insular jot.

It's on Random

i need a new set of headphones. my current ones are falling apart...

and there that is. well. maybe i should consider doing a little brainstorming before i start typing. i'm seriously just typing whatever comes into my head. it's completely random. it's so random i can't even think of anything to type other than the fact that i can't think of anything to type. stray cats.

carrot seeds.

tap dance to monday night football intro music.

argonaut.

raw entity.

il y a rien dans ma tête.

Alarm Reset

la barca has crappy margaritas. they are only $2.50 on tuesdays...because they're crappy. their food is the standard el torito/toledo's/any mexican restaurant in fresno fare. it definitely wasn't sitting well during my morning swim in 83 degree water.

in a few short days i'll be moving again. for the second time in a month. at least i'll have air conditioning and won't feel like i'm liable to get shot if i show my face outside after 11.

i'm pumped for the tom petty concert in berkeley. but right now i need to eat and maybe go back to sleep for a few hours before i bike to work. because my eyes are closing on me. spraunk.

Handless

is there anything better than the feeling of superiority and smugness you get when you "discover" a new band? okay, maybe a long, hot shower after a tough workout. or a nice, cool lager fresh off the tap, bubbling up in a frosted mug. or waking up to your alarm on the weekend and knowing you can turn it off and go back to sleep. okay, lots of things. but it's still pretty sweet.

it's finally starting to cool down here. unfortunately, it wasn't cool enough to be anywhere near comfortable when the air conditioning in my half of the building (typical) stopped working early in the day. by lunch i was forced to retreat to the icy bowels of the building, where summer school students huddled together over powerpoint projects in the computer lab and i spent four mind-numbing hours setting up over 200 new users with website access. i can't type anymore. my hands are going to fall off. too late, there they go. plunk...flink.

The Good and the Bad

i'm officially the first result on google when the terms "insular jot," "credible ring" or "skp magazine" are searched. woohoo. i feel special. now, why anyone would bother searching for those terms...that's another question altogether. let me have my moment in the sun, dammit.

speaking of moments in the sun, woowee, it's a hot one. i'm glad i have air conditioning. oh. wait. that's right, i had to move to the ghetto where the apartments have central heat, but not even a portable air conditioner, and people get shot at randomly as they drive down the street. yay me. can you sense the sarcasm? well, you should, because i'm laying it on pretty thick.

Whahahahaaaat?

go here. read the headline. then punch yourself in the face to make sure you are awake and didn't accidentally slip into an alternate dimension.

Monkey with a Deathwish

Reasonable Debate

from the discussion board of the facebook group at USC entitled "George Bush Is Sweet and We're Tired of all the Shit Those Damn Liberals Give Him" came this little tidbit:

Nick Waggoner wrote on Nov 16, 2004 at 4:05 PM
whats up with that fag douche bag jon something err other. just cuz he's gay he wants to go cry. mother fucker, they just dont get it, liberals are sooo stupid. when will they ever learn that they are wrong?

mr. waggoner's major? business administration. these are the people running our companies and our country. fantastic.

Short and Sweet

it's raining. not really raining, more drizzly sprinkling. but it's still precipitation. weird. and majorly humid. boo.

i'm going to the pool. bye.

Nine To Go

okay, you guys have been dying for a "life update" from me. i can tell. i know these things. alright, here's the deal:

i will be returning to my job at the physics department come mid-august. no more semi-dressing up (i've been slipping in that department lately, wearing dark tennis shoes and simply tucking a polo shirt into a pair of loose khakis).

after conquest's unsurprising announcement that tuscany, the new apartment building that was supposed to be done by august 1st, will not be done until august 18th, the management came through with a surprising offer for once...an interim residence. so one of my roommates and i will be sharing a studio apartment for those 18 days. yes, another chance to lug my belongings across another five city blocks. gotta love it.

i'm approaching my 200th post here at insular jot, which i suppose is a little exciting. i figure maybe 40 percent of them have been angry rants about republicans or bush, so i'm probably closing in on 120 real posts. maybe i should stop reading atrios, because i keep wanting to steal all his findings and report them as my own.

it's nearly 1 in the morning right now, which means it's about time for me to make a critical decision. stay up all night and totally crash during the last two hours of work in the afternoon, but actually get to the pool for an early-morning swim? or set my alarm for 5:45, knowing i'll just have to reset it to 8:30 so i can get up in time for work?

i'd just like to say i never gave up on landis, when all the commentators and analysts had written him off, saying he'd completely cracked and lost all hope of wearing the maillot jaune in paris. i can't wait for saturday's time trial. i might even get up at 3 a.m....or stay up until 3 a.m....to watch it.

Emotion Eric

another eric doing earth-shattering...well, maybe great...well, okay, amusing...things on the internet. check it out. i'll put a link on yonder sidebar for easy access in the future, cause i know you'll be going back.

Quasi-Stockholm Syndrome

is it bad that i'm disappointed when something seems to go right in the national interest? i sometimes feel like the sooner we hit rock bottom, which doesn't seem to be far off by the way, the sooner people will realize something needs to change.

Woof

the department of homeland security is like a little puppy that keeps shitting and pissing all over the house, but bush brought it home and doesn't have the heart to take it to the pound.

Can't Unring a Bell

in one of my earlier posts, i linked to a ny times story about hillary clinton criticizing democrats when she was in fact criticizing republicans. here's the "corrected" version, as if the casual reader would notice the small "editors' note appended" at the top or read the story to the bottom where the correction appears. the average person only reads the first 4-5 paragraphs of a story. result: correction = worthless.

Selective Reporting Redux

bad words vs. treason accusations and hangings. seems fair to me. doesn't it seem fair to you?

Archives

i just spent a good 40 minutes copying and pasting posts from this blog into a word processor, then reformatting and saving them. yaaaawn. at least now i have a complete record of all my twisted ramblings over the past 10 months. wow. i've kept this up for 10 months. i think i might be able to eke out a 10 page short story sometime soon. keep your fingers crossed. i'm off to the sanctuary of my bed. crash.

World Jump Day

sounds kind of hokey, but i'd say it's blog-worthy. check it out.

Famous Bowls

this story in west magazine, the section of the los angeles times i intern for, is too hilarious. right on the money.

Launch Party!

my new literary invention, skp magazine, is up and running, with a new post fresh off the presses. at this juncture, i will most likely desist from posting on enough necktie, and any facetious ramblings will appear on skp. i will leave enough necktie up for archival purposes while i go through the process of copying and pasting those postings into a word processing document for safe-keeping on my hard drive, but it will inevitably vanish within the week. it was enjoyable, but ultimately purile and somewhat unrewarding. i will, of course, keep you all up to date on the day-to-day events of my life on this blog. i hope you enjoy my new direction and show your appreciation by offering high paying positions at well-regarded publications, commenting ceaselessly about the ingenuity of my writings, or mailing blank checks to my home address in fresno (i am, as you may know, going to be moving quite a bit in the next few weeks, and wouldn't want to miss your generous donation).