7.31.2006

Right on the Money

from here. click to make it bigger!

Another Bush Translation

bush: we're gonna spread democracy and peace if we have to fascistly kill every person in the middle east.

7.30.2006

Rockristocracy

the packing began today. actually, most of it is done. i'm looking forward to getting outta here. it's had its moments, but for the most part, it's just going to be the interim apartment with no ac, no screens on the windows, a crappy deadbolt, paint on the toilet seat, and a minor ant invasion.

it's incredible how fast this vacation is flying by. in three weeks, i'll be back in class. it's a little surreal. i'm not going to get all sentimental. but i remember when i was a little kid, thinking about college and how far off it seemed. now it's almost over. strange.

7.29.2006

Twenty-Two Percent

from over on horse's mouth, part of a nytimes poll:

How do you think the war with Iraq is affecting the United States' image in the world? Is the war making the U.S. image in the world better, making it worse, or is the war having no effect on the U.S. image in the world?

Better: 10
Worse: 72
No effect: 12

who are the people in the 10 percent that think what we're doing in iraq is actually raising our global esteem? wtf!? and who are the people who think the rest of the world is apathetic to this whole situation? wowzah.

Game Over

lie-berman about his withering campaign hopes:

"I want to assure you that I'm not surprised that I am in a fight for the Democratic nomination," he said. "I always expected that I would have a primary challenge based on Iraq. I was hoping that God would send me a poor challenger. I am being tested with a rich challenger."

yes. god is testing you. that must be it. who in connecticut is still planning on voting for this guy?

Circumstance

i
am
not
very
adept
at this
pseudo-
intellectual,
word-triangle
building nonsense.

as you can see...it's a slow saturday. i went to the bike shop to get a flat fixed. my plan was to walk my bike to the shop, get the fix, then head over to the pool for a quick dip. objective one was completed without a hitch. i arrived at lyons center and started changing into my suits. except i didn't have my suits. they were still hanging on my desk, where i left them to dry the last time i went to the pool. so i threw my shoes back on and started back home, with the intention of picking up my suits, making a quick pitstop in the kitchen for some agua fria, and returning to the pool. fortunately and unfortunately, as i passed the pool, i saw that it was closed for a waterpolo game. of course, there were no signs at the front desk of the lyons center. that would just be too convenient. so on the one hand, i was lucky that i forgot my suits and didn't walk out on the deck and have the whole crowd be like, 'look at this guy, doesn't even know the pool is closed, doesn't know what he's doing in life. what a goober.' and i'm also lucky that i saw that the pool was closed, because i would've been super-mega-pissed if i went all the way back home, got my suits, returned to the pool, and walked out on the deck to have the whole crowd be like, 'look at this guy, doesn't even know the pool is closed, doesn't know what he's doing in life. what a goober.' on the other hand, i want to swim, so i can't find much consolation in the fact that a crowd of strangers didn't get the chance to point out what a goober i am to their friends. i mean, that happens pretty much every day, so one less goober incident isn't going to take away the sting of not being able to work out.

7.28.2006

Stage 21

he's already been judged, but i figured i'd throw my two cents in. landis is, in my opinion, innocent until proven guilty. my theory on the high level of testosterone in his stage 17 sample? it's due to his enormous balls. that guy is one tough mother. still innocent in my mind.

Moving On Up

apparently i got a raise and didn't even know it. my boss's assistant came up to me yesterday and told me that she submitted my salary increase and it should be reflected on the next paycheck. i was like, whahahat? apparently when my boss took the office staff out to lunch last thursday, she told me she was giving me a raise. i must not have even heard her. i should probably thank her though...

the next move is rapidly approaching. sarcastic yay! the move to storage begins tomorrow, the move to the studio begins monday/tuesday, depending when conquest decides to give us access to the apartment, which isn't currently being used. so naturally it makes sense to wait until the exact day they told us we could have it to give us the keys. it would be madness to let us move in the night before, madness i tell you!

Ad Slogan for Republican Leadership

getting fucked over by laws you wrote years ago? just change 'em again!

Milestone

this guy is clearly a nutjob. and that concludes post #200 on insular jot.

7.27.2006

It's on Random

i need a new set of headphones. my current ones are falling apart...

and there that is. well. maybe i should consider doing a little brainstorming before i start typing. i'm seriously just typing whatever comes into my head. it's completely random. it's so random i can't even think of anything to type other than the fact that i can't think of anything to type. stray cats.

carrot seeds.

tap dance to monday night football intro music.

argonaut.

raw entity.

il y a rien dans ma tĂȘte.

7.26.2006

Alarm Reset

la barca has crappy margaritas. they are only $2.50 on tuesdays...because they're crappy. their food is the standard el torito/toledo's/any mexican restaurant in fresno fare. it definitely wasn't sitting well during my morning swim in 83 degree water.

in a few short days i'll be moving again. for the second time in a month. at least i'll have air conditioning and won't feel like i'm liable to get shot if i show my face outside after 11.

i'm pumped for the tom petty concert in berkeley. but right now i need to eat and maybe go back to sleep for a few hours before i bike to work. because my eyes are closing on me. spraunk.

7.25.2006

Handless

is there anything better than the feeling of superiority and smugness you get when you "discover" a new band? okay, maybe a long, hot shower after a tough workout. or a nice, cool lager fresh off the tap, bubbling up in a frosted mug. or waking up to your alarm on the weekend and knowing you can turn it off and go back to sleep. okay, lots of things. but it's still pretty sweet.

it's finally starting to cool down here. unfortunately, it wasn't cool enough to be anywhere near comfortable when the air conditioning in my half of the building (typical) stopped working early in the day. by lunch i was forced to retreat to the icy bowels of the building, where summer school students huddled together over powerpoint projects in the computer lab and i spent four mind-numbing hours setting up over 200 new users with website access. i can't type anymore. my hands are going to fall off. too late, there they go. plunk...flink.

7.24.2006

The Good and the Bad

i'm officially the first result on google when the terms "insular jot," "credible ring" or "skp magazine" are searched. woohoo. i feel special. now, why anyone would bother searching for those terms...that's another question altogether. let me have my moment in the sun, dammit.

speaking of moments in the sun, woowee, it's a hot one. i'm glad i have air conditioning. oh. wait. that's right, i had to move to the ghetto where the apartments have central heat, but not even a portable air conditioner, and people get shot at randomly as they drive down the street. yay me. can you sense the sarcasm? well, you should, because i'm laying it on pretty thick.

Whahahahaaaat?

go here. read the headline. then punch yourself in the face to make sure you are awake and didn't accidentally slip into an alternate dimension.

Monkey with a Deathwish


7.23.2006

Reasonable Debate

from the discussion board of the facebook group at USC entitled "George Bush Is Sweet and We're Tired of all the Shit Those Damn Liberals Give Him" came this little tidbit:

Nick Waggoner wrote on Nov 16, 2004 at 4:05 PM
whats up with that fag douche bag jon something err other. just cuz he's gay he wants to go cry. mother fucker, they just dont get it, liberals are sooo stupid. when will they ever learn that they are wrong?


mr. waggoner's major? business administration. these are the people running our companies and our country. fantastic.

Short and Sweet

it's raining. not really raining, more drizzly sprinkling. but it's still precipitation. weird. and majorly humid. boo.

i'm going to the pool. bye.

7.21.2006

Nine To Go

okay, you guys have been dying for a "life update" from me. i can tell. i know these things. alright, here's the deal:

i will be returning to my job at the physics department come mid-august. no more semi-dressing up (i've been slipping in that department lately, wearing dark tennis shoes and simply tucking a polo shirt into a pair of loose khakis).

after conquest's unsurprising announcement that tuscany, the new apartment building that was supposed to be done by august 1st, will not be done until august 18th, the management came through with a surprising offer for once...an interim residence. so one of my roommates and i will be sharing a studio apartment for those 18 days. yes, another chance to lug my belongings across another five city blocks. gotta love it.

i'm approaching my 200th post here at insular jot, which i suppose is a little exciting. i figure maybe 40 percent of them have been angry rants about republicans or bush, so i'm probably closing in on 120 real posts. maybe i should stop reading atrios, because i keep wanting to steal all his findings and report them as my own.

it's nearly 1 in the morning right now, which means it's about time for me to make a critical decision. stay up all night and totally crash during the last two hours of work in the afternoon, but actually get to the pool for an early-morning swim? or set my alarm for 5:45, knowing i'll just have to reset it to 8:30 so i can get up in time for work?

i'd just like to say i never gave up on landis, when all the commentators and analysts had written him off, saying he'd completely cracked and lost all hope of wearing the maillot jaune in paris. i can't wait for saturday's time trial. i might even get up at 3 a.m....or stay up until 3 a.m....to watch it.

7.19.2006

Emotion Eric

another eric doing earth-shattering...well, maybe great...well, okay, amusing...things on the internet. check it out. i'll put a link on yonder sidebar for easy access in the future, cause i know you'll be going back.

Quasi-Stockholm Syndrome

is it bad that i'm disappointed when something seems to go right in the national interest? i sometimes feel like the sooner we hit rock bottom, which doesn't seem to be far off by the way, the sooner people will realize something needs to change.

Woof

the department of homeland security is like a little puppy that keeps shitting and pissing all over the house, but bush brought it home and doesn't have the heart to take it to the pound.

Can't Unring a Bell

in one of my earlier posts, i linked to a ny times story about hillary clinton criticizing democrats when she was in fact criticizing republicans. here's the "corrected" version, as if the casual reader would notice the small "editors' note appended" at the top or read the story to the bottom where the correction appears. the average person only reads the first 4-5 paragraphs of a story. result: correction = worthless.

Selective Reporting Redux

bad words vs. treason accusations and hangings. seems fair to me. doesn't it seem fair to you?

Archives

i just spent a good 40 minutes copying and pasting posts from this blog into a word processor, then reformatting and saving them. yaaaawn. at least now i have a complete record of all my twisted ramblings over the past 10 months. wow. i've kept this up for 10 months. i think i might be able to eke out a 10 page short story sometime soon. keep your fingers crossed. i'm off to the sanctuary of my bed. crash.

7.18.2006

World Jump Day

sounds kind of hokey, but i'd say it's blog-worthy. check it out.

7.17.2006

Famous Bowls

this story in west magazine, the section of the los angeles times i intern for, is too hilarious. right on the money.

Launch Party!

my new literary invention, skp magazine, is up and running, with a new post fresh off the presses. at this juncture, i will most likely desist from posting on enough necktie, and any facetious ramblings will appear on skp. i will leave enough necktie up for archival purposes while i go through the process of copying and pasting those postings into a word processing document for safe-keeping on my hard drive, but it will inevitably vanish within the week. it was enjoyable, but ultimately purile and somewhat unrewarding. i will, of course, keep you all up to date on the day-to-day events of my life on this blog. i hope you enjoy my new direction and show your appreciation by offering high paying positions at well-regarded publications, commenting ceaselessly about the ingenuity of my writings, or mailing blank checks to my home address in fresno (i am, as you may know, going to be moving quite a bit in the next few weeks, and wouldn't want to miss your generous donation).

A La Atrios: Journamalism

ny times screws up with this article about hillary clinton. she's talking about the republican-led congress, not democrats, as evidenced by a transcript of the speech.

Winna At Minna

i'm back, with plenty of stories. i don't have time to tell them all. i have to leave for the times in about 20 minutes. but it was certainly an interesting weekend to say the least.

i just checked, and i have about 14 days left in los angeles. this summer, as all summers generally do, is flying by. and this is my last real summer. i'll be extremely lucky to have a three-month gap of freedom anytime in the next 40 years. oh well, i can't be a kid forever.

salman rushdie once said, "what one writer can make in the solitude of one room is something no power can easily destroy." on that note, i have a new blog prospect i'm working on, one that will probably supplant the jocose yet sophomoric enough necktie venture. i'll keep you all posted.

7.13.2006

Please Step Forward

it's not you, it's me. i just need some space. we're stuck in a rut, you and i. i need to get away for a while. see some new places, eat some new food. i hope you understand and can appreciate my honesty. i've agonized over a way to tell you this. so i'm going to use an analogous situation from "the door in the floor" (movie). one of the characters starts telling a joke. here's how it goes: while out at sea, one of the mothers of a naval midshipman dies. the captain of the ship stays up all night trying to come up with a way to tell midshipman abernafee that his mother is dead. he finally comes up with a good way. so the next day he lines up all of his crew on deck. he looks at them all and says, "please step forward if your mother is not dead. hold it a minute, abernafee."

please step forward if your favorite blogger is not going to san francisco until sunday. hold it a minute, population of planet earth.

7.11.2006

Conquest Strikes Again

in an email from my lessor, conquest housing: "Everybody is probably very excited to move into his or her apartment at Tuscany, and we are looking forward to meeting all of you. The building is now 95% complete, however we are going through our final set of inspections with the city. These inspections are required to be completed prior to move-in, and are taking longer than originally anticipated. For this reason, the Tuscany building will not be available for move-in until Friday, August 18th....We apologize for this inconvenience....See you soon!"

get this. they are going to pay for one storage unit and will pro-rate the month of august. and they included a handy guide to hotels around usc, for "temporary housing." thanks. assholes. yea, i can afford $219 a night to stay at the biltmore downtown. that's only, what, $4,000? chump change. un-fucking-believable. there isn't a hotel on that list that's under $100 a night. so let's do the math. i would've been paying about $300 to stay in tuscany for the first half of august. it's not ready. so they suggest i pay $2,000, in the very least, to stay in a hotel for those 18 days. that's only a 570% markup. totally fair. fucking dickweeds. oh yea, thanks for copping the storage fee. makes a huge difference. jerkoffs. the los angeles times, the california better business bureau, the california state attorney general's office and the conquest management will all be receiving scathing letters from yours truly. there's nothing more to say about this. un-fucking-believable.

update: i've consulted many legal experts and they all tell me i have no legal leverage. it's still a shitty move on their part. after telling us repeatedly that everything was on schedule and we would be able to move in august 1st. forshame conquest, forshame.

7.10.2006

Rant Transplant

i had some free time at work today, so i paid a little visit to the fresno bee website. what a pile of festering excrement. who designed that thing, pablo picasso? finding anything on that site is like trying to find a needle in a haystack, if the haystack was made out of needles.

here's the story: there is a guy suing ralph's supermarkets because he was fired for wearing inappropriate pants. he alleges he was fired for taking his lunch break, and i have no idea if that's true or not, so i'm not passing judgment on whether he was fired justly or unjustly. he says he's worn the pants before and it's never been a problem. anyway, i'm not here to argue the merits of his case. i'm here to argue the absurdity of the following excerpt from his lawsuit. the plaintiff says that due to his being fired (for whatever reason) he "suffered and continues to suffer embarrassment, humiliation, emotional distress, mental anguish and severe shock to his nervous system, and thereby sustained serious injuries to his physical and mental health, strength and activity, causing him extreme physical and emotional pain." really? serious injuries? serious physical injuries? unless they ripped his pants off upon firing him, thereby forcing his undergarments deep into his nether regions, i see no possible way he could have suffered physical pain as a result of his firing. and the emotional injury argument is shaky at best. again, the only way i might believe he suffered embarrassment and mental anguish is if a certain cottony article of clothing was forcibly embedded into a certain sunless orifice. give me a break.

will someone please tell me what the following phrases mean? these are a few items i happened across during my job at the business school:

1. application evolution on a parallel path - increasing modularization

2. horizontal process integration requiring seamless application integration

3. national knowledge manager

the first two sound like techo-bureaucratic rabble. and the third...what in the name of bethany is a national knowledge manager? how do you manage knowledge? is it someone whose sole purpose is organizing and looking after an encyclopedia britannica?

Winter in the Summer

well folks, it's the start of another week, and i managed to drag myself out of bed this morning to swim in that overheated cesspool of a dive tank and lift weights with the other early-morning workout crazies. it is a string of what will hopefully be a full week of exercise that will return me to a glimmer of my former self. unfortunately, the pool is closed this coming weekend for a swim meet, so i'll have to find other methods of self-torture.

i did laundry last night. wait, let me rephrase that. i did something slightly resembling laundry last night. wet clothes were involved, but that was about it. the washer and dryer at my apartment complex are, to put it gently, somewhat deficient. after a wash and two dry cycles, my clothes were still damp and smelling a tad worse than when they went in. because when i think wash and dry, i'm really envisioning smelly and damp. makes sense, right? so that was an enjoyable debacle. one of many to come this month, i'm sure.

well, i've settled on a name for my mystery guitar, the one that appeared on my doorstep without a hint of from whence it came (did that even make sense?). apparently it was a completely altruistic gesture. so phantom benefactor, if you are reading this, accept my gracious thanks. oh, and the name. well, i tossed around a few ideas for a few weeks and finally settled on winter, on account of it's pale spruce top and bright, crisp sound. so sera and winter are now splitting playing time and i'm pretty happy with both.

7.09.2006

Sent Out An S.O.S. Call

it's been a few days, so here's the haps, chaps:

1. back to running and swimming as much as possible after a long, lazy few weeks

2. work was officially completed on our interim apartment as of saturday, 8 days into our stay

3. everything is pretty much unpacked and in its proper place

4. went to a brand new concert last night and it rocked (brand new is a band for those not in the know out there that thought it might be possible to go to a slightly used concert)

5. realized that to get drunk at a bar would cost me around $35, depending on the classiness of the joint and the quality of alcohol

well, that's about it, i guess. still looking for that escape to nature. car owners, help me out.

7.07.2006

How to Circumvent Dissent

brendan nyhan talks about how the administration has been "playing the treason card since 9/11."

7.06.2006

Mind Screaming

well, the fridge was finally installed, along with the oven. so now all we are waiting on is the small projects. you know, like a bathroom sink. and maybe something to prevent random people from staring into our living room.

why are there mosquitoes around here? there is no standing water? my legs look like they've been attacked by some flesh-eating virus. okay, not that bad. it's just so hard to resist the urge to scratch.

McCarthy 2: The Return of the Red Scare

more government suppressing the flow of ideas: click here to be outraged (hopefully). apparently he's in a "communist-esque" political party in greece.

7.05.2006

Still Waiting

well, you can obviously tell from this post that the internet was installed. however...the rest of the items mentioned were not completed. big surprise there. i'm beginning to see why people hate their landlords. at least i can maintain contact with you guys at all times now, through aim and facebook and this blog and email. did you miss me? or were you too busy shooting up red lace heroin?

Queen of Technicality

i'm still at work and have been whipping around the blogosphere. i grew tired of reading atrios comment boards and decided to head over to the internet headquarters of infamous hate-mongering facist ann coulter for a few laughs (i'm not linking to her site, because i don't want her getting any more hits courtesy of my blogging, but if you have to see it for yourself, a google search will direct you there easily). anyway, here's what i found, from an interview ann apparently had with a ny post reporter that never ran (it's from her side, so who knows if that actually happened, and of course, she most likely doctored her responses):

NY POST: Your characterization of liberals paints them as extremists. But with people like Pat Robertson telling us how God keeps telling him who He's angry at, isn't it fair to say that there are extremists on both sides?

A: Pat Robertson opposes capital punishment, opposed the impeachment of Bill Clinton and supports trade with China, just for starters. Seems like a pretty mixed bag to me. So what makes you call him extreme? That he believes he has dialogue with the Lord? Do liberals now call anyone who thinks this an "extremist"?

umm...yes. basically. talking to mythological father figures generally tends to register as extremist in my mind. am i alone on this one? not enough for you, ann? how about his claim of leg pressing 2,000 pounds, aka a ton? or his suggestion that we assassinate venezuelan leader hugo chavez? not extremist? oh yea, definitely not, ann.

Vive Les Bleus!

today is supposed to be the magic day, the day we get an oven, a refrigerator, cable internet, and cable television, plus completion of a plethora of other small projects around the apartment, such as light fixture, bathroom sink, and window blind installation. i'll get back to you on how many of those were actually done today at my next opportunity to blog. today was a pretty slow day at the times, and i am glad. after a wild independence day barbecue party, i was left in pretty tattered shape. in addition to minimal sleep and legs that have been chewed to pieces by mosquitoes, i also took a heavy blow to the shoulder during an overenthusiastic celebration following a beer pong victory. i won't name names. i'm just going to say at that point in the night, i was in no shape to support the weight of another human being. so with a very stiff shoulder and a delirious mindstate, i was more than enthused to learn that i would spend much of the day following the france/portugal soccer game via espn's internet gamecast and scanning the internet for mindless entertainment. hopefully i will be updating you all on the state of my life later this evening from my fabulous comcast-internet-wired personal computer. but don't hold your breath.

7.03.2006

Two Days

i'm blogging from work right now. is that bad? anyway, the new apartment is okay, still waiting on a fridge, oven and bathroom sink. cable internet is being installed wednesday too, so hopefully i'll be back up and running shortly, despite my earlier posts about not having internet for a month. not having air conditioning is a little rough, but our collection of seven fans is doing a good job of making sure the place closely resembles a wind tunnel. send me email or messages, guys, because it's really exciting to check it after three or four days. and then really sad when i don't have any mail.